The Dressing Up Phase

1. Im too lazy to dress up. According to me its just a waste of time – I would rather lie around in bed for 5 more mins than get up so I get the 5 mins to dress up.

2. I can never keep my make-up on. And I have no patience to do a ‘touch up’ every couple of hours.

3. Parents never encouraged make-up – including artificial jewellery – they always thought it was just vanity and I would rather spend that time and money learning something new or even playing or even sleeping – so whatever interest existed as a teenager never took wings because of parental displeasure.

4. And now I find them extremely expensive.

5. ‘Dressing Up’ includes wearing Sarees or skirts instead of a pair of jeans or more comfortable Salwaar/Kurtha. Sometimes even a pretty dupatta. Basically anything that can hinder quick movements, or something that needs additional attention-like how to walk/stand/hold that pallu,duppatta which leaves me with 1 hand less – so who will hold the mobile/bag/Chutku? so there…

Having said all that, these days somehow things are revolving around these few things.

Ever since I moved to this new team, I notice that its filled with ladies (and it includes a lot of hassles-which must be a post of its own) of various sizes and shapes and they are all so well presented. You know, how their hair, their accessories, lipstick,clothes – all come together for a very pleasing, made-up look. Some really carry off their look so well(And I very vocally admire them), despite the weight or the lack of it – it never seems to matter. Where as some try really hard-and still dont get there. you know? Some times I feel Im that ‘wanna-be’. So this has triggered some push in me to ‘dress-up’ everyday. To top it, Chutku broke my specs and Im forced to wear lens. The first day I wore lens my boss asked me “Have you cried?” , another time a collegue asked “Are you unwell?” and I realised my eyes look sombre and sad or rather dead which was something getting hidden behind my specs (some advantage that!). That is currently making me wear kajal or eye liner everyday now. -Score 1.

And then, I got that hangings from Women’s web which I wore to work on a whim one day and everyone loved it! I kept hesitating that it makes me look unprofessional and ‘decked-up’ while everyone else laughed at me, saying its hardly anything and that I should experiment with it. -Score 2.

The hubby bought me some makeup stuff as a surprise and wanted me to try it out-because I mentioned that people at work are always ‘made-up’. So, I now advertise the eyeliner and lip liner and gloss from L’Oreal! Score -3.

Then came my friends who helped me shop for the impending trip and convinced me to add another skirt to my wardrobe with matching top and a peep-toe shoes to boot – though I insisted that the peep-toe WILL NOT be with high heels. Score-4. Now I need to figure out apart from that trip (Ofcourse Im going to wear knee length skirts there!) how many times and how many occassions would I be wearing that skirt!

Finally, on the topic of sarees – though I love to wear them occassionally, I hesitate mainly because of the little fellow now. I just cant seem to manage the Pallu and him together! so, off-late I’ve taken to wearing quite expensive (2000rs for 1 dress IS expensive according to me) silk salwaars to functions. Rotating the couple of them that I have based on which side of the family it is But the last month saw 2 functions on the MILs side and she *insisted* that I wear a saree – her arguement – all the other DILS will be in sarees and in her words “The crowd that will attend these functions havent seen my DIL and I want her to look her best” When the hubby put it in more plain words “What after omany years you want to ‘show her off’ to people whom we might never meet in our lifetime again and make her uncomfortable?” She said Yes! So, though the husband was quite insistant that I wear what ever I want, I thought it wasnt such a big deal (MIL never ever says any thing mostly) and decided to please her by wearing a simple silk saree for function 1. Which set off a chain of events leading to the function 2 where MILs sister insisted that *her* DIL also wear a ‘pattu saree’ to function 2! Whew! Which she also agreed, and attended the day 1 of function 2 (which we missed) wearing a kancheevaram saree for lunch.Now, for those of you in Blore – you know how hot the days are and most other people on that day were wearing simple printed silk sarees. The DIL was so upset, she spoke to the MIL sisters and immediately called me up and said” Hey, Im not wearing a Pattu saree tomorrow”. Huh? When did I say I would? And then the whole episode explained above was unfurled! We both decided to not wear a pattu saree and infact discussed what to wear with the jewellery thrown in for good measure and went dressed accordingly – so that we were prepared to face any ‘situation’! – Score 5. Thankfully both the MILs liked us the way we were and the husbands laughed their heads off making a statement – that you 2 look more comfortable and yourself in salwaars or jeans and look pretty enough for all – why stress??! Whew! Finally – its back to jeans and salwaars for the time being

And with all these, Im slowly getting to be influenced by people and situations and turning out to be a little ‘feminine’ Wonder how long this phase will last now.

So, do you get influenced by the people around you and start some new phase and enjoy it? Would you loose interest equally quick?

Random Disconnected Thoughts

Remember this? Well, it happened to me yesterday. Yes! I forgot to pick up my laptop bag thinking that hubby had picked it up when he walked to the car in the morning. And then realised that my bag is not in the car only when we were a couple minutes away from office Dropped the little fellow in the daycare – told my manager that I am going back home to pick up my laptop bag (Total face-palm moment and very unprofessional), grabbed a couple of sandwiches as breakfast and hubby drove me back all the way home to pick it up. Waste of 2 full hours, a hugely bruised Ego and a smirking Hubby… Gah! *Still pulling out the 4 hair on my head.

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Watched Satyameva Jayathe episode-2 on Sunday night. Thankfully was staying up finishing some office work and needed some noise-so had the TV Switched on. Wonderfully conducted show.Plenty of times I had tears in my eyes as I watched the participants share their stories, shuddered at the thoughts that crossed my mind. Spent a sleepless night thinking about it. Made me want to quit everything Im doing in life and spend the rest of it with the little fellow-every waking/sleeping moment, so that he stays untouched by all this. Chaperoning him everywhere until he turns 18 and knows he can defend himself – Well, thats just motherly instinct. Cant possibly happen in real life everyday can it? I HAVE To give him space to spread his wings, have to let him fall-but I sincerely hope that we are there to cushion any such falls, to just ‘BE’ there for him, hope that he comes to us for even the tiniest thing he wants an answer for-so we can keep him safe! God! After that episode – Im breaking out in cold sweat just thinking of how many people he would be exposed to, how many times he needs to make a judgement on his own – and how soon would the society force him to grow up…
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Reading books like Crazy – Some that I finished:

The first 2 books of the Shiva Trilogy – Am enjoying the fact that these portray Shiva as a human and how he bacame God. Though some things are beyond logic and difficult to relate to scientifically – its an interesting read. Looking forward to the third one now.

The JD Robb latest (Nora Roberts) – In Death series. – Read them for some futuristic thriller Am hooked on to it since its first book and this is already the 35th or something…

 The Thirteenth Tale – I think it was suggested by Seema and loved the book.Had been quite sometime since I had read something ‘on the edge’ and it was a dark read.

The Twentieth Wife and Feast of Roses – I first read The Shadow Princess – the last one on the trilogy and then ordered the first 2 on Indiaplaza (Check it out, equally good discounts as Flipkart). Read them back to back, marvelled at Nur Jahan’s prowess and cunning, was transported back to the Zenana and the Mughal Reign for about a week.Was living in it dreaming of those gardens, roses,women, horses and fights.

The Mistress of Spices – Not a bad read – I thought it would keep me as captivated as “The Palace of Illusions” but not really. It is a very slow read and I had to push myself to read some descriptive narrations.

Jodi Picoult – The Lone Wolf. Finished in 3 days. Though not as emotionally draining as her other books-kept me interested enough to read through the whole thing. Pick it up if there are no other options – I would say!

The Secret Garden and Gentle Falls the Bakula – both half read – have to complete them now. Wasnt impressed much with either…

Any new book suggestions? Have marked Sangi’s review, RMs review and The Bride and SnS reviews - any more?

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How becoming a Mommy changes everything – I LOVE mangoes and wouldnt share it with hubby either before. Now, I cut a mango thinking I will pack it for dabba and then instead pack it for the little fellow, thrilled that he is enjoying it as much as I am

On a hurried morning, Im running behind him to get him ready,brush his teeth and cribbing about his lack of apetite-simultaneously forcing some idly in his mouth, and then slip on the shoes to run out to the car, head already 10 steps ahead at work and then I hear mom shout “How many times should I tell you to have your milk, its all gone cold”, and I see she is running behind me with the glass of milk! Sigh! Mothers…

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Weather in Bangalore is suuperb these days, tuesday was a huge hail storm with tiny hailstones strewn all over the black mat in the office and then the weather cooled down. Loving it now. I only regretted being in office and having to act all dignified without being able to rush out to pick up those stones and pop them in the mouth – would have surely done it if it were home and ofcourse made the little fellow also enjoy it!

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Happened quite sometime back. Standing at a signal, I was admiring the fingers of a lady sitting in the neighbouring car-lovely long fingers and pastel painted long nails – thought maybe she is an artist – she has such pretty long fingers.Cribbing that I have such ugly stubby fingers and nails. Hubby says “You are an artist too” huh? “You drew designs on my heart!”

 

Friday Fun:Chutku and his Cause/Effect Examples

Its been quite humid and hot these days. Saturday afternoon, he said he was feeling hot and asked me to put on the fan. Then Dad asked him – what does the fan do – he said ‘it goes round round’, then again Dad asked what happens when FAn goes Round round? He thought for a few mins (while I said Dad that it might be a little too high funda for him) and he said “Thatha, Switchu haakidre Fan baratthe, Fan round round thirgidre gaaLi baratthe, Avaga Sheke Aagalla!*” Both Dad and me had our jaws dropped to the floor!

*I put on the switch, the fan will go round round and breeze comes, then I will not feel hot”!  He understood the whole concept and could put it so clearly in words that made us happy. (This is a direct translation of what he said in kannada – so please dont mind the langauge mistakes)

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Taking medicines is a big deal. He has now learnt to spit it the moment I pour it in his mouth, or he keeps it in his mouth without swallowing and then spits it out as soon as I am out of sight. I tried telling him that he should swallow it to get better and tried every trick under the sun but to no avail. So, as a last resort, to ensure the medicine goes down his throat-I did what the doctor had suggested – hold his nose (Yeah, I know, Im a bad mom). I poured the medicine in his mouth, waited a split second to see if he swallowed and if he didnt – I held his nose – so as a reaction, he HAD to swallow it. It happened a couple of times and then just mentioning that I will hold his nose did the trick.

After a few days, we went to a function where I fed the little fellow first and then I sat down to eat with him beside me. And the minute I drank water, he stood up on my legs and held my nose and said loud enough for everyone sitting there to hear – “Nungu” (Swallow). Everyone around laughed out loud and said “Tit for tat”!!

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He has finally learnt to chew his food – atleast those that he likes. Earlier, give him a grape and he would keep it in his mouth for ages and would never bite, and then spit it out. Suddenly one day, I guess he bit it accidentally – he comes running to me and says “Amma, grapes bite maaDide – juice-u banthu, Chennide!” with a huge smile and ran away
* Amma, I bit the grape and juice came, its very nice”

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Half his life so far has been travelling by car – to and from work. Effect is that he recognises most cars and vehicles on the roads – Any white Xylo – Badari Maama car, Any innova – R chikkappa car, Any Ford fiesta – B Doddappa car, Any Alto – Thatha car! And the best excitement: Tata Nano.His own car: Reva car – “Amma Reva car-u nodu, naanu driving maaDtheeni, ninna angadi ge karkondu hogtheeni, gemchu thogoLana” (I will drive and take u to shop, we will buy gems ) The selfish fellow!
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Its raining almost every alternate evening here. And for him its the first time that its registering. We came home one evening and he heard some noise. He looked up and around him and said “MaLe barthide – neeru yelli?” (Its raining, where is the water?) At first I didnt know what made him think of rain. Then I heard it- A lorry unloading jelly stones in the  back alley and that noise sounded like rain falling on the window panes

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He is our own little elf these days. He loves to help especially since he knows we praise him after. He loves getting the milk packets inside, keeping them in the fridge, keeping veggies inside, his favourite-put stuff in the dustbin!

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He picks up his Dad’s Dabba, asks his Dad to open the window of the car, and says “Naanu Office-u hogthini – Car inda jumpu maadtheeni!” (I will go to office, I will jump from the car!)

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Finally leaving you with Some of his latest words and some pictures :

ivare = Iruve (ant)
Hemlet = Helmet
Cippulu =Clip
Mugali = Mulangi (Raddish)
slaine-u = Snail
kookal = koodalu (hair)

He looks at the seal (sea lion pic) and says it is crow!!

Some Pictures (Seema, this one’s for you-to compensate for not putting up Friday fun posts for over 2 weekends now )

sitting on the dining table and pouring water from tumbler to vessel-fave passtime

In Shoppers Stop shoe section-selling shoes to customers while mamma was wondering about the prices-nice time pass

Aha! A whole bucket of water to pour and give bath to his fave toy-the auto

He loves singing songs/rhymes/slokas and then giving Hi-Fi to Appa once done.Poor mom is delegated to the back seat-always!

Huggiee to a Chotu cousin – Avani over the weekend.

Helping Hand-sorting out milk packets to keep in fridge-While mom watches with her heart in her mouth, lest it falls…

The Weekend that Was…

Was a lot of activities and a lot of fun too.

Friday – Took the Day off as we had to do the Akshara Abhyasa pooja for Chutku. It is mainly done in the 3rd year before the kid joins school. And 4th was the ‘good date’ that the pundit ji gave us. So, we did a small pooja and we made him write on rice with a gold finger ring after which we just left him to scribble to his heart’s content on the slate. And not just the slate, his clothes too got some nice chalk doodles

Once done with the pooja by 10am, we relaxed – I put him to sleep and sat down to finish ‘The Feast of Roses’ until 12.30 while hubby ran around getting documents xeroxed for the passport appointment at 1.30 for Chutku. So had a hurried lunch, got him ready, packed lunch for him so I could feed him in the car and we left home at 1pm to reach the passport office at 1.40. We hurried in and after standing in the queue for 1/2 hour, the verifying officer said that the address proof of RAtion card is not enough. So we rushed back home, grabbed some electricity, water,telephone bills and rushed back by 3.15. Whew! It was HOT and tempers were raising in the car too – including the little fellow’s. Thankfully, they accepted the documents that time around ( we were worried that they will not oblige and ask us to take a fresh appointment) and then the longer wait began. After the first round of verification and the second round of collecting fees and checking the passport application forms we had to wait for 1/2 hour for the counter B officers to call us. What did the counter B officer do? – check the same documents again – our passports and then address proof and sent us off to counter C. Now here begins the hassle. At counter B – there are say 15 officers and at counter C there are only 4. So quite obviously there is a huge line of people waiting here. Though they have mentioned on the notice board that for Senior citizens, children below 3 yrs and tatkal will be done on priority basis once you come to counter C nothing of that sort happens. And one of the persons standing there and yelling out token numbers told hubby, when asked, that the token numbers are picked up in a random order and depending on how many token numbers were there for a particular category So we waited and waited for nearly an hour before we were called with a cranky child (there were many like us) and then finally the Granting officer also did the same- verify the originals and the xerox copies! Whew! The entire day just went by sitting there.

We were hungry by then and on the way dropped into to Forum mall, ate at transit while the little fellow- happy with the banana he ate, ran around so much that we decided to take turns-one eating and the other running behind him. Im sure we provided enough entertainments to the others eating at the transit. once done, I went to return something at westside and instead bought a couple of lip gloss and nail polish from L’oreal! Yeah! I think something had gone wrong in my head after all those hours at the passport office! :-O in turn  the little fellow got all his finger nails painted-1 shade for each finger-all shades of Rrrreds, Purrrples and brrroownnns! *Gross* (which I painstakingly removed while he slept on sat hehe).

Sat – We had a function to attend and we reached the venue so late that the food was also almost all over…MIL had insisted that i ‘dress-up’ in a saree and not to go in my ‘usual salwar’. So, lots of ‘dress-up’ happened in saree -so much so that I couldnt really feed Chutku his dinner-his Dad had to do it *smirk*.
Sun – With my parents going to London to visit Bro in June and with my FIL wanting to listen to my Chikkamma (Mom’s Sis) sing (She sings extremely well-has even sung for AIR), we had arranged for a musical evening yesterday with all my Family members, in-laws and a couple of FILs friends. The event was supposed to start at 3 but by the time everyone trickled in and my aunt actually started to sing it was about 4pm. And went on till about 5.30pm with her singing a lot of out favourite Bhava-GeethegaLu. Post which we served upma and kesari bhaat, coffee, ice cream, bonda with sauce (the caterer had forgotten to get the chutney! ) and by the time everyone left and we dropped my aunt and cousin back home it was 8.30pm. So it was a  wonderful evening spent with good music. Like I was telling hubby – “mehfil jamaa sakte the if we had started by 6.30 with ‘drinks’ and finger foods and with candles and orage lights” We should surely try that for the next time (hehe). Thankfully the little fellow slept on the way back in the car so that was a little relief. I had a long chat with hubby’s cousin and hit the bed satisfied and tired at 10pm.

This was one long weekend which was worth recording…

Early morning confrontations

Have you had any? Does it affect you? Because it affects me.

I hate arguements (Ofcourse except with Hubby :-p) It spoils my mood, upsets my day.Especially a morning arguement. I remember telling mom way back in high school not to scold me/argue with me in the morning before school. It would ruin my day.Initially mom just brushed it aside as a teenage-mood swing. But then every time she would scold me for something in the morning, I wouldnt be my best self when she got back from work – invariably my day would’ve gone bad – I
 would’ve forgotten to take the homework, fallen down and hurt myself, fought with a friend, band master scolding me – something gone wrong… Then she realised that it was true – my day would go bad simply because I would be brooding about the morning and not concentrate on the moment.So, she stopped scolding me in the mornings -yes, she would wait fo evenings and we would finish whatever it was before I went to bed so that the next day would be better…

Coming to the husband – I dont know why, but nobody hackles me as much as he does. Initial days of marriage, we worked in different shifts and we would hardly get any time to spend with each other-we would only see a sleeping spouse- he would be sleeping while I left to work and I would’ve been in snooze-land while he came back from work.So the scope for arguements on weekdays would be rare. Weekends were different – saturday mornings would start with fights – mostly on how to spend the weekends.But the Saturday mornings that we fought – the whole day/weekend would just get spoilt for me.So,After a few weeks I just stopped planning the weekends! And then hubby also understood that the morning arguements spoilt the day, and so even now, we try and avoid arguments in the morning, so much so, that a couple of months back, I stressed out with the morning chores and screamed at him, and he said “these early morning arguments,I’ve realised, put my mood off” so can we please stick to not argueing in the mornings”…

Now, why am I saying all this?Because, I now have a new contender for my morning arguements – my cook! She comes in at 5.15am, and then starts grumbling no matter what we-mom/me ask her to prepare for the day, and generally we ignore her.We also ignore the salt-less dishes, half cooked bhindis, thick chappattis-though we still think that a cook has to do a better job. I mostly support her knowing that she is a single parent to 2 small kids having her own set of problems. But a week ago, she spoke to mom in singular in a really bad tone and said she didnt have to learn cooking from my mom, that she had been cooking for 6yrs now in different houses and they had never asked her to cook in any particular way etc; etc; All the lady had to do was put specific ingredients to the masala and put it in the mixer,so that mom could mix it with the rice – no chappatis too that day. Mom just did the grinding herself and when I went to the kitchen she told me all that the lady had spoken-in front of her.When I questioned her, she just only fought more-saying she didnt need to take an cooking exam(!!) and that she just didnt wantto do it. Again she addressed my mom in singular. I didnt care if she didnt want to cook that dish (knowing that she is a cook,and that she needs to do it our way) but I didnt like the disrespect to mom. I lost my cool, screamed at her, told her that she could go and not come to work from the next day. Some more words and then she just left. But it spoilt my mood – big time. The whole day, I couldnt concentrate much on the tasks, seething inside for the words she said and for the words I *should’ve* said. At the heat of the moment I can never really get the right words-they only come to me after.

All this time, I thought only arguements with loved ones ruffled me and affected me, but that day I realised it was more of a stress thing related to the arguement that spoilt my day.I need to keep this in mind, going forward. Try not to get into arguments first thing in the morning…

So tell me, like I asked in my first sentence – does it affect you as badly as it affects me?

 

PS: Not able to comment from work. But I am reading all the posts though! Even publishing new posts arent working – posting this in a hurry before Chutku grabs the laptop!

Friday Fun – Chutku Gaya Cubbon Park

Over the last weekend, we took chutku to Cubbon park – finally. It was a dream for my MIL that we should be taking him on the toy train ride and something or the other always came up and the outing never happened. So, this saturday, Mom also had a holiday, so with 2 sets of grandparents and parents – Chutku went to Cubbon park.

Sometimes, I feel he is more grown up and mature than us! While we rushed to get the tickets for the toy train, he leisurely ambled around looking here and there, tripping here and there, getting up, dusting himself off and then following us. He was so lost looking at the huge crowds and kids everywhere. He sees a kid, he stops and asks “what is your name” And he repeatedly asks the same question over and over to any kid he sees! You can imagine my frustration while Im trying to get him in the queue and he does this with the respective kids’ parent staring at me!! But then, it was so much fun watching him do that-trying to strike a conversation with perfect strangers.

Once inside the train, he was so lost that he didnt know what was going on. He kept trying to see forward towards the engine and kept looking backward to see how long the train was. At the small tunnel, everyone screamed and his face was a sight to see. Being the bad mom, I was laughing my head off looking at his face with wide eyes and open mouth turning here and there. And then, he saw the slides and the swings from the train-that was the only thing he recognised and the only thing he wanted to go to later. Once we got down, he kept bending to look at the engine, so until the next set of people loaded onto the train, I carried him and stood there so he could take his fill of the engine and sing ‘Engine No 9′.A couple of pics that hubby clicked there all have Chutku staring at the engine and the driver

Then we saw this Dragon ride which is just one small circular ride with a “hump” in the center – so it kind of goes up a little and comes down in full speed. We took Chuktu in that because he loves ‘humps’ on the road. We call it the ‘dhad dhad’. He thoroughly enjoyed that ride and we kept saying ‘up up up up’ ‘down down down down’ to also make him understand the concept.he said “Thirga Onana” “Lets go again”. But then we also wanted him to sit in the tea-cup and so we rushed there as all rides close by 6pm and it was past 5.30. Unfortunately he didnt enjoy that one bit. He got scared, climbed into my lap, hugged me and put his head on my shoulder saying “Chennilla amma, Onana” “Its not nice amma, lets go”. I felt that in our greed to show him everything, we over did it a bit. Felt sorry for him after that

And then we just decided to take him to the playground where he played a little bit of see-saw,swing and a couple of times on the slide. Unfortunately it became 6pm by then and the security guy came blowing his whistle asking everyone to clear the place. So, we decided we should take him there again sometime and this time with more time to spare. And rather than sitting on all the rides, we should just let him run around and play in the park.Despite the heat, the place with so many trees was so cool that we all, also enjoyed the cool breeze as we walked back to the car.

We then went to Ballal residency for dinner as all of us were exhausted! There the little fellow put on a show for everyone sitting in the courtyard by singing all the songs/rhymes he knew and thankfully for the first time I could do some decent recording of it all

And sunday morning, when asked where he had been last evening, he says “cunnon paLk. jhoola jhoola, jaaro bande” (Cubbon park, swings and slide) – NOW, we know what he enjoyed most… Sigh! Simple pleasures is all that he craves for…

Chicken Soup for the Indian Couple’s Soul

I finally, finally got selected to review this 1 book from Blog Adda and I was thrilled to recieve this book last Thursday. Thankfully I had just finished reading a book and very happily took this one up.

For one – I’ve always liked Chicken Soup series – read most of them. But somehow always the setting used to be very different and there were occassions where I really couldnt ‘connect’ to the story.

But this one – I Loved! Brought out the super romantic in me The stories are so true and sometimes you can visualise the ‘romance’ between the 2. Its all about romance all-right, but not too mushy like the typical M&B either. True stories that you would’ve seen around you-uncles and aunts, cousins – couples around you.

Some stories just brought tears to my eyes, some where I was found nodding away realising “Hey this sounds familiar”, some where I had a silly smile on the face, some which really rung very close home. Some morose about loosing a partner – where you know there will come a time when one of you will outlive the other – got me thinking too and having a mood-off!

A couple of stories, if I remember right “Sincerely yours” is beautiful.About how love not expressed in words. Some where love takes a backseat in the daily routine of kids and work and running the house and how we would end up finding it at the oddest of moments…

Some stories where I thought – would we (hubby and I) be like this in our old age – a rosy picture of the 2 of us holding hands to support each other and walking towards the sunset, or would we continue to be bickering about silly things and complain to show that we care…

Some pages that have been ear-marked to ensure Hubby reads it…

So in all – its an emotional roller-coaster -especially if you ‘empathise’ the romance in those stories Go pick it up for some feel good love…

What I didnt like – some were boring and some about death, but every Chicken soup has such stories – you cant like all now- can you? So I would rate a 4/5 for this book.

PS: And Oh! Chutku took a look at the front page and called it Amma and Appa!

 

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

Children and Technology Exposure

Before I begin my rant, take a look at these 2 vodafone advertisements for 2012 featuring children:

Do you think these Ads are appropriate? Do you think they did the right thing by showcasing small children instead of adults or even the latest treand of teenagers? I think so. I met my friends over the last weekend and all of them had the same thing to say. There is only so much you can stop the kids from watching TV. And even the cartoons these days made specifically for the kids use language like Girl Friend and Boy friend with the girl fluttering her eye lashes at the boy or kissing on the lips. how much can you stop your kids from watching these? And now these advertisements too. Is it possible to completely ban TV for the kids? Then they learn it from their peers.

My friend’s brother’s son in 1st grade comes home from school and tells his aunt “today,X gave love letter to Y”. when asked what a love letter is, he says “She wrote a heart and inside that wrote I love you and gave it to him”. And apparently all the kids in the class knew about it and were ‘teasing’ those 2 about it and also had the cunning to hide it from the teachers. This kid-thanks to the open-ness and the attention the family gives him, came home and HAD to tell someone. Perhaps he had an inkling about not telling the parents-so he told my friend-who he considers as his best friend. They later just told him to say he is friends with everyone and anyone if atall someone gives him a card like that! And that he should wait till he can write and understand better before he gives such a card to anyone else. Yes, there is still some bit of innocence left but shouldnt it all be only innocence at 6yrs?!!

A friend’s daughter went and asked her grandmom-when will I wear the clothes like the aunty on TV? Pointing to breasts asked-when will I get those like you and mom? What do you answer? Just telling her that she will get it once she grows up sufficed for the moment…

Teenage boys and girls, trying to find a place on the internet where they can book a room and ‘make-out’ – heard this again from a friend who has teenage children…

Where does all this come from?Certainly from the peers and peer pressure? OK, I can ban TV for my son, but can I stop him from such influences? Can I stop him from making friends? Can I stop him from exploring and wanting to find answers so he can also be a part of the group? No, right? So how do you teach your innocent child what things are without actually being too moral about it, without admonishing, without being shocked yourself? And is it even right for a 4-5 year old to be talking of ‘girl friend’ ‘boy friend’? I see kids in daycare who have just started school and that kid comes back to the day care after school. I saw her wiping off her cheek the other day when another boy gave her a kiss. I asked what happened and she says “cheee! he is a boy.” That boy, until then, did that out of innocent affection. Now ofcourse he got the thought in his head that he shouldn’t be doing that and its something wrong. How do you tell that child that its OK for a child to show his affection? Or how to teach them where to draw the line and at what age?

I understand that with the current speed with which the kids get onto the internet (it has also become necessary these days what with home works and results and tests – everything being online for the kids) and the exposure they get from it, the awareness will come much sooner than we did at our times.But is this loss of innocence so early on good for the kid? With half information or incorrect/assumed/hear-say information where will it lead the kid? Will we be able to answer all their questions? And how aptly can we answer those questions?No, Im not being a prude-Im only being a cautious parent.How much is enough/how much is too much?

And Im just touching the surface of the iceberg here I feel. There is a lot more on exposure to technology to the kids that I find un-necessary – what with gifting 8yr olds iPods and iPads and online games – including dressing up the dolls and online cooking-is there really fun in it I wonder. Where is the good old doll or kitchen set with which we would do ‘real’ dressup or ‘real’cooking with puffed rice and water mixed with a little chutni-pudi and salt and jaggery?!! Well, that must probably for another post-for now, I reserve this post only for the limit of exposure on TV/internet for what I have mentioned above…

Answers anyone?

CSAAM – 2012

 

I know, Im 10days late and I should’ve done this on the 1st. Last year too I blogged about it here and I sincerely hope that it would help the numerous children who have been unfortunate to have experienced something horrible like this. Please do share your thoughts on this at your own blogs or contribute here if you have think it can help atleast a single kid fight this abuse or an adult who can overcome the unwarranted guilt. Do your Bit.

Here are the details:

A lot of you have been asking us how to take part in this, what are the rules etc. We want to keep it as open as we can. Any thoughts? Please share. However for the convience of everyone we have put together the ways you can contribute as well as some very broad guidelines…

If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that we welcome entries

• mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR
• posted as FB notes and linked to Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month Page OR
• posted on your own blog with the badge and linked to the main blog OR
• linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR

The list of topics is available here. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured.

Please remember to send in a mail with all necessary links or just your input to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.

Some guidelines

1) Please precede the title of your post with CSAAM April 2011. Then add a hyphen and your title.

2) Please insert the badge html(above) in your post. If you carry it on your sidebar for the entire month of April too apart from just within your post, we would be honoured.

3) If you refer to sources for information kindly italicise that part of your post which is taken from the source and provide the link to the original source in a bracket.

And finally

4) Please do avoid any graphic descriptions of the abuse.  Stay as factual as possible if you’re doing first person accounts

Friday Fun – The Naughtiness

He has taken a huge liking to water. An extra mug has to be given so that we can give him a decent bath.He asks us to fill his Sippy with water and then walks around the house with the sippy in inverted position-with a stream of water on the floor! Now not just pick up after him but also wipe after him. Susu is again a bahana-to go in there, open the tap and start filling the mug with water.Ask him why he wants that water, he promptly replies:Amma,susu water (I will pour water to susu). Eh? You need to first DO susu na?
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And ask him where anyone is, he will tell – Ammamma-kitchen, Thatha-Room, Appa – office, Amma – Susu! Eh? Even to the neighbour.This boy is born to embarass me, I tell ya…
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Every night its his Ammamma who feeds him dinner – showing him the moon, threatening to call the police, running around behind him and ensuring that he eats his dinner. The other day he didnt want to eat anymore and mom was cajoling him, that see even Chandamaama moon is eating dinner from his grandma and insisted that he eats a morsel too. That worked for a couple of bites and then he says “Ammamma, chandamaama moon ammamma susu maadakke hogide, neenu hogu, nange beda!” *Moon’s grandma has gone to susu, so you also go, i dont want anymore*! Mom was so shaken with laughter that she couldnt even continue to stand there
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He is fascinated with the cooker and all kitchen items. Not sure if I have mentioned here but he loves to throw the vessels into the ktichen sink and hear it make that loud ‘ThaN thaNa’ noise. So, he gets the milk packet and says “amma, cut cut maadu, haalu kodu” (cut cut and give me milk) and then wants to cut the veggies himself, the powder puff is his chappatti – he goes around with it,puts it on the floor,presses it,turns it this way and that and says “Amma, chappatti-thinnu*eat* “. He loves serving coffee to everyone, he pours water into any vessel he can get, keeps it on a plastic stool we have and pushes the stool to us making enough noise to wake the sleeping dogs and then before I can scream at him for the noise, comes to me very sweetly, hands over the vessel (it can even be the huge chappati atta making one) and says “Amma, cOpphhee, kudi*drink*”there, I cant even scold him without feeling guilty
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Every morning, we have to take a U-turn at a signal and that takes nearly 5 mins. At the signal, there are many pigeons and that is our favourite pass time- to count how many are there and how the fly… One morning there were only 3 of them sitting on the parapet of the building and I was showing them to Chutku and saying, see there are only 3 birds today. Where did the rest of them go… Suddenly he screams, “Amma,alli amma, alli ide nodu – kaLLa maadthide”. *”Look amma,look there, its is playing peek-a-boo” Sure enough, there was 1 pigeon, half visible, hopping around behind the bill board!