Day 10-In appreciation

Of all the women that I am in awe of. I have been meeting moms here, who do so much more than just having a day job and taking care of the house.

The first person that I met here and am in awe of, is hubby’s aunt. A pediatrician by profession, she is not only on call 24/7 but also is a temple committee member, cooking large amounts of food for the devotees during festivals and keeps elaborate bombe during navaraatri. They have a son who is trained in classical music and was a part of the university band here, daughter who is an accomplished bharatnatyam dancer and a doctor herself, both of whom owe their interests to their parents who took the time and effort to ferry the kids to all their classes despite their busy schedules. Of course, full credit goes to uncle too for the support he has given and continues to give to aunty’s profession and career. They also entertain family, travel to meet their son and daughter in different cities whenever the kids need them and their life continues to be much busier than ours though both of them are 60+. I see them as an ideal couple and hope to be like them – continue to have a full life even 60+ and not think of retiring at 60.

The other person I currently appreciate is my dance teacher – yes, i have joined a bollywood dance class as a time pass for 1 hr every week which I hope also gets me out of my laziness and a chance at doing some vigorous movements than just sitting on the couch all day long. This dance teacher has a 4yr old, has a full time job and teaches bollywood dance as a hobby.Calls it her passion. For the temple hosted events like Holi or DeepawaLi, she takes her dance students – ladies and kids to perform. This is no mean feat – she has to decide appropriate song, make the steps and teach people like me with 2 left feet how to dance AND make us perform on stage. She also needs to take care of costumes for nearly 100 students for different dances, order from India or pick up the costumes from the rentals and take charge of returning them as well. With all these, she also hosted her own dance school event yesterday at a hall here – so the family was in charge of everything – getting people to sponsor raffles, food, hall, costume, lighting, sound, video – phew! such a huge effort without asking for any one to help! I have seen a couple more ladies here, who have started learning dance from scratch and given arangetaram, started learning music from scratch and can now give stage performances at our Indian functions.

Back in India, I see some people I know making a group and hosting movie events of eminent actors – an activity that requires so much planning and effective execution and all these people hold full time day jobs.

These women really make me feel lazy for not getting out there and doing what I want to do – only because, who will take care of the house? I never think that I should wake up at 4am and sleep at 2am for any hobby. Maybe that’s what is called passion?

Sometimes I wonder, what is that one thing that would want me to loose sleep over and push me to do it? Do I even have any passions to pursue? (Not considering a good book)

Advertisements

Schooling in America

With summer holidays starting, I have been thinking of how this past school year has been… so here’s one post on how we coped…

When it was decided that we are going to move, most everyone told me that there would be no issues with Sam learning there. The lessons would be taught slowly and there will be no homework and he will enjoy going to school.

With that thought process, when we came here and got him into school – he should have ideally been in kindergarten, he was not even 5 and half years. Unfortunately (but hubby thinks otherwise) since he had already completed 2 years of Pre-KG and LKG in India, the school said he need not attend kindergarten at all and it is fine for him to go to Grade-1. We asked in 2 different school districts and nearly 3-4 schools but they all said the same thing. At that point in time, I was also convinced that we should give this a try, if we go back in the next couple of years, he can repeat the same class and he should be good.

Then the school started. All was hunky-dory for the first 2 weeks and then home-work started coming in. Homework, that as per the teachers should not take more than 20 mins, the little fellow used to take nearly an hour. Then we got our first letter home – He is not up to the mark in reading. We immediately scheduled a meeting with the teacher.

Back in Bengalooru, he had begun to write a,b,c,d and read small 3 letter words but here the expectation was to read small books. He didn’t even know that the book had to always be read from page 1! He apparently started reading from page 5/6 when asked he said he knew the book had to be read from page 1 but the last page of that book had baby of a Kangaroo called Joey and his friend’s name is Joey, so he liked to read that page first! So the teacher suggested we put him in a special reading class – where he would be taken out of class for 30 mins along with other kids who weren’t good at reading and would be given individual attention. So, from there started the uphill climb on reading. He got Math – math that I had to understand how to do and then teach him. different methods and techniques – number line, vertical grid, dominoes, graphs, count by 5s etc etc; He also had issues with statement problems – the trouble with reading and understanding the English in the problem made him loose track of the problem itself. So, we had to help him understand that as well.

Along with these issues with understanding, he had issues with bullying too. Being new and a child with high energy levels which made him getup and answer out of turn etc; he was being bullied by a few kids. This continues even now, but we have told the teacher and it doesn’t seem to be bothering him as much as it used to. He would throw tantrums at home for no reason at all, hit us and scream and after talking to him or at bedtime the real reason for his upset would come out. That was the hardest part. Not only are the kids here physically more stronger, this kid being the youngest in class was much smaller than the rest of the them.

I really thought we should change the school (this is not the best school district) and maybe get him to repeat grade 1 with kids his age. I was (still am) completely fine with him repeating a class if he can get back his confident, happy self and not feel “not capable” of doing things – these were the exact words he uses. Despite all these, he loves going to school and never once has he said that he doesn’t want to go to school. Such resilience!

But over the last couple of months, since April, with soccer and swimming where he meets other kids from his school and class, he seems to be slowly feeling better about going to school and we are feeling better too. After the last PTM I am now trying to relax that knot in my stomach when I send him to school everyday.

With the summer reading program that his teacher thinks will help him, I just hope that the steep climb will steady out by the time Grade 2 starts and we can have a happy little trek 🙂 through the year.

Finally! The end of Jan-2015 Blogathon

Whew! The last day of the blogathon! 31 days of nonstop blogging – come what may! And I have surprised myself that I completed it despite having a lot of reservations in the beginning.

But like last time, I’m dissatisfied with the worthiness of the posts. Ofcourse, its my online diary and sure it will serve me years down the line when I come back here and read the 2014 travelogues and Chutku tales which have given me maximum fodder for posts. But, I question the usefulness of these posts for anyone else coming here. These posts are useless in terms of being helpful to anyone. I wish I wrote something more socially productive and something that someone will bookmark to come here later.

This blogathon, has therefore, opened my eyes to the fact that I’ve been so steeple(d) in my own cocoon world that I hardly observe much beyond it. Which is sad actually. I need to look around and get involved in a lot of other activities than just work,cook,eat,sleep and take care of Chutku.

However, Im not going to stop coming here like how I did last year. I intend to keep this blog as alive as possible and Im sure I will have a lot of fodder at least for some time while I shut shop here and move countries.

The best part of this is the friends – so please don’t stop coming by here to check on me and my life 🙂 Do stay tuned!

Letter to Chutku

Inspired by RM I thought I should write some of my thoughts to Chutku too. But ofcourse, I always feel, Im not clear of what I want and how I want things to be, myself, so am I even eligible to advise him? Here are just a few things
that I would want him to know though:

Chutku, here are a few of my thoughts that I want you to know, that as your mother, these are a few things that I would want you to learn.

Study – Lets start with Education, because now at 5 years of age, you know what going to school means. Learn all they teach you there and also dont stop questioning. Questioning is what helps you find those answers. If you think, this is how something should be, you can never think of an alternative to it! Like how you park your car at the edge of your 3 story
lego home and dont care about how it reaches there-thats your imagination and I never want that curbed. Education is important, but let that not hamper your growth. You need the education that school gives you to grow up and be able to compete with any crowd.

Play – Play hard and play by the rules-It will teach you discipline. Learn every game possible. Its ok if you are not the best or if you loose. It will teach you that you cant win everytime, it will teach you how to handle the loss. It will also teach you to appreciate a fine game when you see one and help you learn better-if you want to.Whatever you play-play because you enjoy it, play because it makes you smile and laugh-play because it will get you involved in a group.

Music – If you dont want to learn music, thats totally fine with me. But, I would want you to listen and appreciate, atleast enough to be a bathroom singer….There is something about expressing your state of mind through a song…just humming your favourite song to yourself is enough to make you smile, its a mood lifter-for that, I want you to open your mind to music. Any music is fine, you can enjoy the drums, the background music, the piano or violin or flute or even the lyrics of a song-whichever appeals to you-will you share it with me too? 🙂

Money-Ofcourse, now you are beginning to understand that everything needs money. Yes-it does. So, earn your own money-through the right means, by your own hardwork-nothing gives you more satisfaction of getting that salary at the end of the month when you feel you deserve it! And nothing gives you more satisfaction than buying something essential with that money too.
But-understand that money comes and money goes-dont hanker for it- as long as you have enough to get you all that you NEED, its enough. It need not get you all that you WANT – save for your wants and then spend it when you have saved enough.In the meantime if there is a NEED – spend it and start saving for that WANT again-no big deal…It will make you evaluate and respect  that Want and keep you grounded.

Friendship – Make friends, loads of them. As your mother though, I hope they are good company – so judge wisely whom you want to make friends with. Like the saying goes “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are”. Be that 2am friend to somebody. Thats what friends are for. Let go of small arguements when you value that friendship. But dont let them walk over you either-let go, if you have to. Its ok not to be in touch everyday, but have friends that you can call at anytime and start from where you last left-off – thats friendship. Make those 2am friends for yourself-but think twice before you call them at that time-call them when its most important to you,so they know it must be important to you to be calling them at that time – dont take them for granted.

Fights and arguments – are a part of every relationship. No two people can have the same thoughts and ideas. No two people can think the same thing always. So its ok to fight and argue. But try to never start a fight if you can avoid it. Think if its your fault and apologise if required. An apology can instantly resolve a lot of differences. But dont say sorry if you dont mean it. And stand up for yourself in any argument when you know you are right.

Love and Marriage -Love like crazy, like its blind, like there cannot be another. Express it-if you dont say it-they wont know it.Dont just say-act on it too-Actions speak a lot more than words. Not just when you are wooing, through out your life.Express it in different ways-in ways that matter. Give your trust and respect. Like friends, never take your partner for granted.
But, expect the same. Its a relationship of 50-50 partnership. Dont depend on anyone for your own happiness-have your own space too. Dont give so much that you cant take it back if things go wrong. And IF they go wrong, dont hesitate to end it either.

Job – Remember I told you, you need money? So you need a job.Its a long long way to go, but still, we cant take care of you all your life. You need to make a living on your own. Do something,anything as long as its not negative and antisocial! Work for your living. Enjoy what you do and take pride in it. Pride in a job well done, pride when you get rewarded too.
But dont let that get to your Ego that it stops you from growing and makes you an obnoxious person for others to work with – always be humble and learn from the others-there will be something thats better in someone else. As simple as a shortcut in an excel sheet or as complex as time-management.

Religion – I have kept this for the last sweetheart, because for me its the last thing that matters and the toughtest thing to explain. Dont let anyone fool you that religion means God. Its not. God is a belief, a faith, a hope that keeps you going in tough times – someone you imagine is your own fairy that you can fight with and demand and expect to make things right for you. Religion is made by the people-so they can divide and rule.Dont fall for that at all. Again-religion and culture are 2 different things-dont follow a custom if you dont believe it it. Go to church or a mosque or a temple-anyplace that gives you a feeling of peace. A feeling that things will work out at the end. Celebrate a festival because it gives you joy in sharing, giving and meeting family and friends. Dont do it because our ‘religion’
demands it. Dont be forced to read any scriptures or perform any rites if you dont think it matters to you-all those rites and scriptures are for keeping the mind at peace-they will not serve the purpose if it agitates you further!

I know that most of these has a ‘but’ part too…There is just no one way for things Baby. When I think of what I should tell you-I question myself if I believe in it or not, if I think it is right or not-these are just the surface of such thoughts – answers to very basic questions-they cannot explain everything or give you 100% answers sweetheart.  Infact, You teach me something new everyday Chinna-keep doing it!

Thoughts on online shopping

There was a time, about a couple or so years ago, when I didnt think about going online for shopping. Shopping for me was about touching and feeling and trying it on before buying. But over a period of time, I saw that a lot of family and friends were vouching for online shopping – everything from clothes to cosmetics to home furnishings to jewellery and electronics!

That was when I decided that I didnt want to be left behind and I have to understand how the whole thing works. The hubby started with ordering some pen drives on Amazon while I started with guess what – Books 🙂 Obviously – couldnt go wrong there now, could I? Flipkart became a regular. Then one time, mom wanted a pair of comfortable closed sandals and we bought a pair for 1799/- in Shoppers Stop. The next weekend when I was checking Myntra, I saw the same pair for 799!! I cool, 1000rs lesser! Same brand, same color and I decided to pick it up for myself. When it arrived, I checked the quality of them both – the touch and feel and found no difference. I was totally hooked – I have now stopped shopping for footwear in stores! Even if I like a pair, I check the brand, come home and pick it up online 🙂 The next graduation was clothes – picked some simple T-shirts for Chuktu and liked the softness of them. Then on a shopping spree, picked up 5 Tshirts for the hubby at nearly half the price we would’ve paid if we had bought those brands at any of these shopping malls. But I was still apprehensive about returning. Thankfully, a pair of sandals ended up being tight that forced me to return – now, that gave me confidence of getting my money back and returning without hassles.

The best part of the whole thing is that I can do this shopping late into the night-when Chuktu is asleep, even after a long day at work. Especially if I need to pick up something as a gift for someone and I just dont have the time to go and pick that perfect something! I love the fact that I can buy them all anything of my choice that I feel would be personal without ending up giving a gift voucher. I have the time and liberty to browse through loads of stuff and order them without having to stress about the time. Mostly the things also get delivered within a week. If there is some problem-all I need to do is call up their 24/7 and they will promptly respond with a refund or give me a solution that would be good.

I still refrain from buying clothes for myself-I need to try them on before I feel 100% sure and I dont think I would do online shopping for groceries or veggies as I still like to see the freshness and enjoy going around looking at things on display-well some retain therapy is still essential for the eyes and soul-dont you think? 😉

Ramayana – Impressions of Rama – the God or Human?

Whew! Read, Re-read and re-re-read Maya’s response to my questions and I can visualise the steam coming out of her ears and red eyes when she wrote this 😉 Before we end this marathon, I wanted to close my end of this discussion as well…

Her view points are awesome! Like I commented at her space, if Rama were alive today,he would give everything to have her as his defence lawyer anytime! 😀 And I also read all the comments that the others have written. So, am going to borrow a couple of sentences from those responses as well.

I would’nt want to go to the extent of comparing Krishna and Rama – of the fact the Krishna and most people around him already knew he was God incarnate while Rama didnt. I would end up in a total tangent arguement of “Can God alone be perfect or can God be excused for his misdeeds?” See, Im starting on that tangent now.So lets just get back to Ramayana.

Quoting some sentences from what she has written:

“Imagine a rule-book scion like Rama” – Agreed, he was a rule-book scion – a rule book written for the patriarchical society which only questioned the women – why nobody qu estioned if Rama had any relationship with anyone else in the forest while Sita was not there? – that question never gets asked – does it? Fine, accepting that it was that day and age and “Satya yuga” – I will even concede with the Agni-Pareeksha that he asked Sita to undergo. As per the book also, it states that though Rama was missing her, he made her go through the Agni-pareeksha just for the on-lookers to prove that his wife was “Pure”. Once done, then, he should not have backtracked on that promise of purity and banished her – THAT is my grouse. THIS is why being called the “Eka Patni Vrata” doesnt sound right to me.

“Rama-Rajya”, “He was the king – People were hungry to have him as a king” – Exactly, people were looking forward for Rama to return and rule. People looked upto this man who they felt was the epitome of all goodness and righteousness who had already put his wife to agni-pareeksha despite her being Sita- the daughter of the earth and had a standing of her own… He had then brought her home to be his queen. So, if this man, the KING, who did everything right, who could do no wrong, who always wanted to give the right judgements – decided and faced that 1 man who spoke against his wife and addressed the issue of Sita already having paid her dues through the ‘Agni-pareeksha’, for spending all those days in Ravana’s garden and told in his court that he trusted his wife, respected her for it was no fault of hers that she was abducted and that she would continue to be his wife-the Queen – would the citizens of his kingdom rebelled? Would it not have sowed the seeds of change, of respecting women start from there? I think that would have become a new rule, a new way of living a better life, people in the kingdom too would begin to respect the women in their life… Would that not have set new standards and make it a better “Rama Rajya”?  #

I think it would- for all the things that have been written about Rama being the best King – did it all stem from the ONLY fact that he banished his wife for the sake of the kingdom? I dont think so-he must’ve been a great ruler, a leader, an inspiration to his people – so could he not have gauged that, appreciated that and used that to create a new rule of respecting women?

Here’s where I feel he failed – he just went by the book that was already written, when he knew, as a king, he had the capability to change it for the better and live by it. A rule, created by Rama himself would be as respected,if not more, as the rule-book by which he abided.

“Rama would have been the best husband, but not the best of kings. And, he, to save the Dharma and honour of his Raghu-kul, put his and Sita’s emotions behind and acted as a king.” – I think he could’ve been both – him being Rama and the best king and that people looked upto him to make the right judgements – he betrayed the one and only person in life whose life depended on him.

To summarise:
Rama might have been a great king, a wonderful ruler of the “Rama Rajya” but he failed as a husband and had failings like all human beings – Like Monkeymind has commented at Maya’s space:
“There is something to learn from everything and even the greatest or very good human being can teach how to be as well as how not to be!”

# I read this sentence,and I feel its too long, but breaking up the sentence into smaller sentences was’nt giving the same impact according to me-so please excuse the grammar and the length.

Morning Observations – not the kiddy kind

I had written here  about how I observe the kids on the way to work in the morning. I realised, that on some days when the mind is at peace and eyes are not constantly looking at the watch, they also look at other happenings on the streets.

– Women outside the houses putting water and rangoli in front of the houses with their hair tied up and in the nighties. Roadside sweepers cleaning up the paper pieces and leaves that have fallen in front of the Forum Mall through the night.

– Uncles in monkey caps and Aunties in salwaars and sports shoes and scarfs returning from walk.

– A group of elderly people in a park, forming a laughing club and laughing loudly in the quiet of the early morning.

– Milkman keeping a crate of milk outside the shop and the milkvan unloading.

– The different shades of green – of the palak,curry leaves, coriander,chillies, the reds of tomatoes and carrots, purple of the beetroot, white of the raddish – all stacked by a roadside vendor and looking so fresh in the misty morning sun, that I wish I could just stop the car and pick them all up.

– Autos and 2 wheelers carrying all these fresh veggies in gunny bags, transporting them to their smaller shops in various corners of the city.

– Hurried taxi drivers, breaking the morning quiet with their persistent honks and some uncles refusing to budge as they drive back home slowly from which ever park they had gone for their morning walk.

– Office goers in a hurry honking at the over loaded sand lorry as he tries to cut across the road from the right lane to the left just before the signal turns back to red again.

– Bunch of college kids standing at the single table having their first meet before they enter the college at that Upahara Sagara self service hotel.

– That drunken man, continuing to lie there despite all the noise surrounding him.

– The omlet gaadi with stacks of eggs and flasks of Chai which is surrounded by men gobbling up the hot omlets by the minute.

– The billboards that keep changing – of Tanzanite being more expensive than diamond, apartments and gated communities that seem to be springing up in every nook and cranny available making me wonder how many people would actually fall for an advertisement like this and go spend a fortune.

– Morning office goers-some waiting for their company buses with their tags around their necks, some driving and trying to get a bite of breakfast at the signals…

– Some like me, who dont have to concentrate on the road and drive – look around and see how the rest of the town lives its life…

Books on my bedside Table-2

As a New Year gift to ourselves, the hubby and I went and splurged on some books at Blossoms and now very voraciously reading. Here are some that I read recently:

Winners by Danielle Steele – I am a fan of Danielle Steele for a long time.Her english is very simple and I like the way she takes the story forward. Winners is one of her latest about how 17year old who is training for Olympics has an accident and how she overcomes it to live her life to the fullest. There were places where I could relate to some incidents in the book and even had tears in my eyes. But sadly the book is a little too slow for my liking. Some parts of it where the book could be better edited.
My Reccomendation – Read if you like simple writing and can enjoy everyday drama.

Treachery in Death and Calculated in Death – These 2 books are books  37 and 38 in the In Death Series by J D Robb/ Nora Roberts. Again, being a fan of Nora Roberts, I began to read the In Death series that she writes in the name of JD Robb. The stories are set in the future – 2050 to 2060 and I love the fast pace and mystery behind it. The protagonist is the lady Eve Dallas with her partner Delia Peabody are a part of the NYPD Homicide squad and each book is about how they crack the murder mystery. Packed with action and some bits of romance between Eve and her hubby Roarke, each book is unputdownable to me.
My Reccomendation – DO READ! Atleast one to see if you like it…

Sita by Devdutt Patnaik – Just finished and I am yet to respond to Maya on this one 🙂

More to read:

Ramayana by Ramesh Menon – Its too huge a book and the very size has been putting me off it. Need to start once I finish this Calculated in Death.

Mercy by Jodi Picoult – Liked the excerpt at the back of the book, so picked it up. But I always find Jodi Picoult very emotionally heavy. It tends to leave me drained out and depressed for a few days, so this would probably be the last book I will read in my list.

Elizabeth Nobel’s The Girl Next Door – I think I read a review of this book at TGND and wanted to read it since then.

Indu Sundaresan’s The Mountain of Light – Read Maya’s review and since I enjoyed her Taj Mahal Trilogy, picked this one up though there was no discount anywhere.

The Partisan’s Daughter – A random pick that I did at blossom’s because the name of the book caught my eye. Thought will experiment with a new author I have never heard/read before.

The Woods by Harlan Coben for the husband which Im sure I will read too – a murder mystery about 4 missing teenagers one of whose body is found 20yrs later…

And oh! I also picked up War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy because I think I might have now grown up to read this – no? No?!! Let me see, its one big, fat book and just looking at it makes me think – Ah! Now I have this very popular book that I can showoff and say I read – but honestly – give me my JD Robb or Nicholas Sparks, Sidney Sheldon and I will be a happy girl 🙂

What are you all reading now? Any more reccomendations for me to read?

Bucket List and More

Since Im running out of thoughts and want to stop writing only about Chuktu, I decided to peep into all the prompts that Maya has generously given for the Blogathon.

Now what all things would I want to put up in my bucket list? Here are a few that I always had since I was in college and started observing people and how they lived their lives:

1. To get a job that paid well – When I was studying, Dad always showed me women in the family who worked and managed homes equally well. He showed me those that were in good jobs and mentioned that they earned as well as their husbands. He always told me that he wanted me to be independent and not depend on my husband, especially monetorily. – I’ve done that today – Check on the bucket list.

2. Visit onsite on my own VISA for my work – When I got a job, everyone said that I would quit my job and travel with my husband. Nobody in the family actually thought that I would travel abroad for my work – and I did, hubby took the sabbatical and joined me.So now, Im ready to travel the world with him, quitting my job – Check on the bucket list.

3. Own a home/Apartment by the time Im 35 – When Dad’s cousin bought an apartment before he turned 35, Dad mocked me saying I would never be able to do something like that as Im not as brilliant and wont be earning so much… It irked me no end – a lot of my ambitions came from the fact that Dad always ended up comparing me to others and saying I will not achieve what they have at that age. Though I never gave it much thought, things so happened that we now have our own home though we are paying through our noses to pay the loans!

Digression: I realise as I write these, that the 3 above ambitions/bucket list comes from the fact that I maybe somewhere wanted to prove to my Dad that Im as good as anyone else and no less! That might be fodder for another post some day, so let me not digress….

End Digression.

4. Have a baby by the time Im 30 – The powers above have been kind to me on this one. I was expecting Chutku on my 30th birthday and delivered just a couple of months after. *touchwood* – Check on the bucket list.

5. See Switzerland – Which I did on that Europe trip 😀

6. Learn to drive a car – Finally, got that done too, though I now know that I dont much enjoy driving.

Some more on the bucket list to go:

7. Learn a new foreign language – Like French/German

8. Learn Swimming

9. See more places – Australia/Egypt/New Zealand/Spain

10. Win an award.(Which is too Far fetched maybe, but still).

Last but not the least:

11. Give back to the society in someway – maybe teach in a school? Just giving money for school fees or donations feels like a farce these days, like a cheap escape from actually getting my hands into some good work and helping in the real sense. Im in awe of Swaram for all that she is so passionately doing and I always feel that I just do not have that kind of guts to do it.

These are the things that I could think of as I sit here past 7pm waiting for the hubby to go home. Might end up doing a whole new list sometime again for all you know!!

So what are the things on your bucket list?

Tough Parenting

Over the weekend, while we drove to Cochin, we (husband and I) felt the journey was extra long. We really didnt know how to pass time for 14 hrs! By the end of it we were frustrated with the journey.

By the time we reached Cochin, we had exhausted our conversation and it was then we realised, that we were both missing the little monster. We were missing his excitement at seeing an Audi car or an Ambassador car, missing his questions, missing is wonder on everything around us and missing his nonstop chatter. We felt guilty for not taking him along. We kept calling the parents to ask how he was and what he was doing until my Dad scolded me to not disturb him as he was well adjusted to the fact that we would not be returning that evening and was playing.

On sensing that I was almost close to tears, the hubby asked me if we should have taken him along. We had actually taken this decision with a lot of thought – the nearly 20hrs of journey  (which ended up as 14hrs) cooped in the car would have made him cranky and tired, he would neither have eaten nor slept, we started at 5:45 in the morning, so his sleep would’ve reduced and ofcourse the options of food would also be limited with all that travel. Despite all this and the fact that he would be well cared for and entertained by both sets of granparents still made us feel like we had ditched him 😦 Ditched him to be taken care of by the grandparents, ditched him over a weekend when that would be the only 2 days he spent maximum time with us.

Did we do wrong? No, I dont think so, but the guilt feeling doesnt go away. We had to take a practical decision to leave him behind considering that 20+ hrs of travel over a weekend and then school next day would tire him out and might make him fall ill. There are so many such decisions we are being forced to take these days that we feel bad/guilty about – like he has a school trip next week to some resort and they have asked our permission to let him get into the kiddy pool. Now, Im not even sure if I should let him go on that trip 😦 Im afraid that he will run wild in his excitement and there will be so many kids around for the teachers to manage too. I really dont trust that excited kid to listen to the teacher and stick to her 😦 What am I supposed to do? I know he will have a great deal of fun, but should I really risk sending him? Im so confused… Would I be that ‘Tiger mom’ if I dont send him? I find this tough parenting very tough…