Inspired by RM I thought I should write some of my thoughts to Chutku too. But ofcourse, I always feel, Im not clear of what I want and how I want things to be, myself, so am I even eligible to advise him? Here are just a few things
that I would want him to know though:
Chutku, here are a few of my thoughts that I want you to know, that as your mother, these are a few things that I would want you to learn.
Study – Lets start with Education, because now at 5 years of age, you know what going to school means. Learn all they teach you there and also dont stop questioning. Questioning is what helps you find those answers. If you think, this is how something should be, you can never think of an alternative to it! Like how you park your car at the edge of your 3 story
lego home and dont care about how it reaches there-thats your imagination and I never want that curbed. Education is important, but let that not hamper your growth. You need the education that school gives you to grow up and be able to compete with any crowd.
Play – Play hard and play by the rules-It will teach you discipline. Learn every game possible. Its ok if you are not the best or if you loose. It will teach you that you cant win everytime, it will teach you how to handle the loss. It will also teach you to appreciate a fine game when you see one and help you learn better-if you want to.Whatever you play-play because you enjoy it, play because it makes you smile and laugh-play because it will get you involved in a group.
Music – If you dont want to learn music, thats totally fine with me. But, I would want you to listen and appreciate, atleast enough to be a bathroom singer….There is something about expressing your state of mind through a song…just humming your favourite song to yourself is enough to make you smile, its a mood lifter-for that, I want you to open your mind to music. Any music is fine, you can enjoy the drums, the background music, the piano or violin or flute or even the lyrics of a song-whichever appeals to you-will you share it with me too? 🙂
Money-Ofcourse, now you are beginning to understand that everything needs money. Yes-it does. So, earn your own money-through the right means, by your own hardwork-nothing gives you more satisfaction of getting that salary at the end of the month when you feel you deserve it! And nothing gives you more satisfaction than buying something essential with that money too.
But-understand that money comes and money goes-dont hanker for it- as long as you have enough to get you all that you NEED, its enough. It need not get you all that you WANT – save for your wants and then spend it when you have saved enough.In the meantime if there is a NEED – spend it and start saving for that WANT again-no big deal…It will make you evaluate and respect that Want and keep you grounded.
Friendship – Make friends, loads of them. As your mother though, I hope they are good company – so judge wisely whom you want to make friends with. Like the saying goes “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are”. Be that 2am friend to somebody. Thats what friends are for. Let go of small arguements when you value that friendship. But dont let them walk over you either-let go, if you have to. Its ok not to be in touch everyday, but have friends that you can call at anytime and start from where you last left-off – thats friendship. Make those 2am friends for yourself-but think twice before you call them at that time-call them when its most important to you,so they know it must be important to you to be calling them at that time – dont take them for granted.
Fights and arguments – are a part of every relationship. No two people can have the same thoughts and ideas. No two people can think the same thing always. So its ok to fight and argue. But try to never start a fight if you can avoid it. Think if its your fault and apologise if required. An apology can instantly resolve a lot of differences. But dont say sorry if you dont mean it. And stand up for yourself in any argument when you know you are right.
Love and Marriage -Love like crazy, like its blind, like there cannot be another. Express it-if you dont say it-they wont know it.Dont just say-act on it too-Actions speak a lot more than words. Not just when you are wooing, through out your life.Express it in different ways-in ways that matter. Give your trust and respect. Like friends, never take your partner for granted.
But, expect the same. Its a relationship of 50-50 partnership. Dont depend on anyone for your own happiness-have your own space too. Dont give so much that you cant take it back if things go wrong. And IF they go wrong, dont hesitate to end it either.
Job – Remember I told you, you need money? So you need a job.Its a long long way to go, but still, we cant take care of you all your life. You need to make a living on your own. Do something,anything as long as its not negative and antisocial! Work for your living. Enjoy what you do and take pride in it. Pride in a job well done, pride when you get rewarded too.
But dont let that get to your Ego that it stops you from growing and makes you an obnoxious person for others to work with – always be humble and learn from the others-there will be something thats better in someone else. As simple as a shortcut in an excel sheet or as complex as time-management.
Religion – I have kept this for the last sweetheart, because for me its the last thing that matters and the toughtest thing to explain. Dont let anyone fool you that religion means God. Its not. God is a belief, a faith, a hope that keeps you going in tough times – someone you imagine is your own fairy that you can fight with and demand and expect to make things right for you. Religion is made by the people-so they can divide and rule.Dont fall for that at all. Again-religion and culture are 2 different things-dont follow a custom if you dont believe it it. Go to church or a mosque or a temple-anyplace that gives you a feeling of peace. A feeling that things will work out at the end. Celebrate a festival because it gives you joy in sharing, giving and meeting family and friends. Dont do it because our ‘religion’
demands it. Dont be forced to read any scriptures or perform any rites if you dont think it matters to you-all those rites and scriptures are for keeping the mind at peace-they will not serve the purpose if it agitates you further!
I know that most of these has a ‘but’ part too…There is just no one way for things Baby. When I think of what I should tell you-I question myself if I believe in it or not, if I think it is right or not-these are just the surface of such thoughts – answers to very basic questions-they cannot explain everything or give you 100% answers sweetheart. Infact, You teach me something new everyday Chinna-keep doing it!