Here you turn 4 already…

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to youuuu, Happy Birthday Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you….!


You turn 4 today, year, f.o.u.r years have passed by and I still think that Im a new
mommy! Yes, everyday is new, everyday is something exciting, somewhat frustrating and somehow awe inspiring. When I wrote to you last year, I was wondering how many changes are in the pipeline and how you will cope with all of them. An year down the line, I see that you have coped pretty well in your own way…

You still miss our old home, wanting to go back to it sometimes and then you reason
yourself about why we needed to shift. You seem to enjoy going to school but then in school you hesitate to speak up to a new teacher. You miss us and the travel time we used to have before, but you also choose to stay back with the grandparents long after we have come home because you want to watch some TV or do some colouring. You are becoming a bundle of contradictions and its getting increasingly difficult to understand you – already!

You still throw your tantrums for the oddest of things and at the worst times! And then when I tell you that I will not hug you, you come to me, hug me and say that you will stop crying – all the while increasing the tears! Sometimes you seem to be your own person, all confident and decisive and the next second you come running to me and ask me to put on the light in the room. There are times when you dont want anyone to touch you and then, there you are waking up in the morning and raising your hands to be carried and asking me to hum that lullaby while you bury your face in my neck and doze off for those few extra moments.Im confused-are you still a little baby, or have you grown up?

Physically, you *are* growing up, you already reach my waist! :-O I can hardly carry you these days! *Touch wood* The health issues continue with very frequent
cold,cough,chest congestion and fever which we deal with as and when it comes…Im just waiting when that day will come when I can stop worrying about your health everytime we go out.The fussy eater and light sleeper that you are, I think that’s still sometime to go.

I realise that you are a very sensitive child. You are so attached to your teachers in school, still dont sleep well at night,still waking up in the middle of the night to check if we are there next to you 😦 Things when told in a nice manner and when you are receptive you do understand and tow the line. Those times I feel sad that you’ve grown up enough to understand!!

I miss that little baby that you used to be, and I am at a loss on how to handle this new “I know everything” little boy. Suddenly, Im afraid if Im being too strict or too lenient or too pushy or too smothering! What is best for you?

But in the wee hours of the morning, a few mins before my alarm rings, when you call out “Ammmaaa” in your sleep and roll over to hug me and cuddle inside my blanket- that’s the best moment for me, I don’t even want to wake up then. I want to keep hugging the soft warm body to me and feel and smell you. It washes out all the apprehensions and tensions and somewhere I feel that God above will do the best for you through us.

This year has been a growing-up year for you baby! Now a boy and not a kid, there will begin small expectations from you – be it learning in school, extra curricular
activities, behaviour at home…everything. For me, the most important thing would be to teach you good behaviour and manners and to think about what is right or wrong.Also, mostly how to be safe and how to stand up for yourself when we are not around. Too many things on the “To-Do” list, right Chutku? Like you always say “Dont worry Amma, baa huggie koDtheeni” I will believe that we are doing the right thing with you, as long as
you continue to come to us and demand those Jaadu ki Jhappis 🙂

I cannot describe how much we love you Sweety Pie. Our whole perspective to life has changed since you’ve come into our lives and we hope that we live upto your
expectations and you continue to give us your unconditional love.

Happy Happy Birthday and the most fun filled, active, healthy year to you Sweetheart!


Morning journey observations and thoughts

Its been so long since I put anything of interest here. It feels like my life and perspectives have changed so much since Chuktu, that I’ve somehow become immune to small things that I see everyday. But over the past few days, on the way to work we (hubby and I) have been noticing the kids and the parents:
a. A kid and the mommy crossing a busy intersection – the kid lifting its head upto the sun and smiling while the harried mommy is looking left-right-left and rushing ahead holding onto the girl’s hand. The little girl giggles and runs along with the mom…

b. Kids in the cars, whose parents drop them to school- Older kids are either dozing off or looking into books. Kids about 4-7 yrs old, either sitting on the mom’s lap or along with the mom in the back seat-eating/being fed breakfast. Some kids sitting on the front seat with the driver (can be mom or Dad) are twisted in their seats so that they face the parents and are animatedly talking with bright eyes and hand movements while the parent is negotiating the traffic and maybe sometimes glancing in the kids direction and prompting them.

c. Kids with their Dads standing in the bus stop waiting for the bus-leaning on the Dad’s legs, looking around at the traffic while the Dad is mostly keeping an eye on the watch or on the younger kid who might be playing around nearby.

d. Little older kids who stand a few feet away from the parents while the younger ones are either holding the parent’s hand or leaning on them-the difference in growing up-wanting or not wanting the few more minutes of attention…

e. Some mommies trying to ensure that all books are kept, or maybe checking the homework? while the gang of kids are busy running around the mommies.

All these makes us smile, looking at the enthusiasm of the kid, the smile with which they get into their school buses or look around absorbing things around them while more often than not, the parents have a vague – lets just get this done, harried expression. We think, why we cannot be like those kids-lifting the head up to the sun, breathing in that fresh air, find a giggle in running across the street, uninhibitedly express the desire to be close to someone? Why? We already noticed that as the kids grow older, they prefer to start bringing in that distance. Or is it that the parents make them so? Ask them to be independent which starts from not leaning on the parent? We get so self-involved, rushing through the day, that the small things that really matter like the crisp,fresh morning air and the bright sun light go un-noticed…Is this what growing up is all about? *Sigh* how wonderful it would be that we could retain that zest for life and find joy in the small things.