Episode where I ditched both Father and Son

Everyday morning rush as usual. And we also dropped off bhaaji to the ILs place on the way since we started as early as 7.45 from home. And more than half way later – I realise that Hubby’s laptop bag is not in its usual place. Only then did he also realise that he has left it at home and it was already past 8.30 by then.

I began to get worked up because we had to turn back, go home and travel all the way to work again which means all the effort of waking up at 5.15am goes down the drain! And Not to talk about the attendance issue in the office. So, started an arguement and we thought about options – cant take Chutku in volvo at taht time since it will be crowded till the door, no autos available at that point..blah..blah..and then he said ‘get down – do what you want’.

And what did I do – I just got down, saw a volvo on the opposite side of the road. Ran across the street like I was running for the olympics and I even GOT THE BUS!! This is the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done. I didnt even bother to turn back and see if they were still there – yes, Chutku was still strapped to the car seat… And as I write this I have Evil laughter bubbling up – I ditched the Father to handle the son too,didnt look back and I didnt even know I had it in me to do something like this! Somewhere Im thinking – Serves him right to be so irresponsible but the heart is guilty for doing this – for leaving him to drive all the way with the little fellow all alone… And its about 1.5 hrs journey. Im now waiting for them to come to office and see what the effect has been…

So, What do you think? Have I been a Bad Wife/Mother today? And guess what – the little bugger didnt even realise that I’ve gotten out of the car! He was so involved in looking out the window!

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I had read that this is one of the books in the Top 100 list of BBC books. And every since I read the Animal Farm I had been wanting to read this book. So much so that I refrained from watching the movie before I read the book.

And so when there was a book sale in the office and I came across this one for 99/- I HAD to pick it up. At the time, I was reading Jeffery Archer’s Only Time Will Tell and this book had to wait its turn.

Here’s my take – I LOVED the book. I kept thinking that its a children’s book and it might not be so interesting. The book just got me hooked from the first word! The illustrations (especially those of the Oompa Loompas), the description of the children on the first page. Willi Wonka, Oompa-Loompas – I like the way they sound :-).

And the description of the chocolate factory – Ah! I was drooling at the chocolate waterfall/pink toffee boat/A complete meal in a chewing gum and big big bars of chocolate and their descriptions – Chocolate milk Cows? Seen squirrels breaking walnuts? Wow! The kind of picture it painted in my head – I became the kid looking at all that.

And best of all – How each kid falls into their own trap caused by their bad habits- Be it hooked to chewing gum,eating all day, watching television all the time,demanding all that they see and what happens to the kids at the end of it all…

And I forgot to add that the book is just un-putdownable! I just sat and read through Chutku climbing all over me and making noise and playing around me in about 3hrs… So you can well imagine how good it was…

Now I just cant wait to read it to my little one! Oh! WHEN will he grow up?!!

Who is a Teacher?

How many of us even think about the teachers who influenced us in life? I do have a couple of them I really respect and look up to. Those teachers who not only taught me subjects but a lot of other values in life. And its so sad that in  today’s money-making world the dearth of good teachers is so obvious 😦

Got this mail from my Dad:

From A School Principal’s speech at a graduation..

He said “Doctor wants his child to become a doctor………
Engineer wants his child to become engineer……
Businessman wants his ward to become CEO…..
BUT a teacher also wants his child to become one of them..!!!!
Nobody wants to become a teacher BY CHOICE” ….Very sad but that’s the truth…..!!!

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.
One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,
“What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

To stress his point he said to another guest;
“You’re a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?”

Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied,
“You want to know what I make?
(She paused for a second, then began…)

“Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can’t
make them sit for 5 min. without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?

(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)

I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then I make them write.Keyboarding isn’t everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math.They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life ( Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn’t everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES,EDUCATING KIDS AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO’s ,AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS……….
What do you make Mr. CEO?

His jaw dropped; he went silent.

Amen! to that

(Image courtesy:Google images)

Dil goes Hmmm

Show me one song in today’s times that has this kind of romance in lyrics,melody,voice,expressions…*sigh*

Just listening to them makes the heart melt…

This obviously is no list! But listened to these songs yesterday evening all alone at home and was transported into a land of smiles and sighs…

Dheere Dheere Machal …

Aap Ke Haseen Rukh Pe…

Abhi Naa jaao chod kar…

And this is my 200th post. As you see its taken me 2+ years to get from 100 to 200 – whew! how busy life has become 🙂

Being Working Moms

A lot of discussion has already happened on this topic all around the blogsphere. But then there is obviously more to each discussion…

Me, being a working Mom myself have to face a lot of ‘advise’ on how to bring up my child, whether I’m doing the right thing in taking him to the day care, and all the time get questions about how I can trust the people there to be as good as me! Of course they cant be as good as me – but they do their best too… And the good part is all those ladies have been seeing him since month 5 and are seeing him grow up! Sometimes they rejoice more than I do about some small thing he said/did. They immediately call me up to share the news too! And that gives me the confidence that my baby is in safe hands. It did take me time to get to this stage, no doubt. And I do keep check on how they take care of him. It is an advantage for me that I bring him here with me. And that he is just a couple of minutes away from my desk so I can run to him anytime. The reason I changed to my current job being this!

OK, that was total digression there… Coming back – I see how many women leave their child in day cares closer home/leave the kids with the grand parents/ leave the kids with a caretaker – many options and we try to find the best balance. And we toughen up and come to work. At work its a different picture. No matter how good we are, how good work we do – its always and always noted how soon we leave for the day – ALWAYS! And this is not just with me! Always our performance is judged by the number of hours we put in – always only the days that we have not been able to stay back at work, days when we cannot/refuse to take calls from home/refuse to work on weekends is what get noticed while the actual effort we put in getting their tasks completed on time without any issues gets completely side tracked! All the time we are compared to other colleagues who stay back (No one bothers about the hour long cigarette brk or going to the bank during office hours), who do not mind coming to work over weekends. Why is it that performance is not rated on the quality of work? Why is it that 12hrs logged in office becomes more glaring than the amount of work accomplished? So, everyone advises the working mom – its ok, wait till your child grows up and then you can concentrate on your career – does that mean that the Mom is not giving her 100% at work – that’s so not true! When we are at work – we gives it our best – especially because we do not want to rework and waste the precious little time! But who cares – that’s the best excuse – oh! She has a small child, so she cannot do more than she is already doing – exactly! we will not stay back,we will complete our tasks on time, we will not overload ourselves or our team – so we plan accordingly rather than loading at the last minute with weekend and late nights at office! But who understands these?

Then comes the question at home/family members and other stay at home moms – how do you manage? 1 constant question – what do you feed him? – You are seeing my child – does he look underfed? Sick? Unhappy? does he look like he is facing some problem because he spends the day at the day care? – But I refrain – because it becomes impolite to answer back. I am responsible for my child and know what’s best for him. I know when he needs more attention than anything else in my life. And I give 100% attention when I’m with him. And I dont think it mars his personality in any way! In fact I feel its the opposite – he learns to interact/share/understand and pickup faster. So why compare 2 children and say something derogatory only because you are a working mom? And Thank you! But No thank You! You DON’T have to pity him!!! There is nothing wrong with the situation or with him or with our family – thank you very much!

Finally, its our own Mommy guilt. When the child is sick, when he/she has had vaccination and is in pain or even on a daily basis every time the thought comes “Is he missing me?” Or on days when he learns something new and his care taker calls up to share the news and there is this feeling of loss – “Oh! I missed it” I hear from my friend who feels sad when her Daughter says ‘Amma, miss you’ as soon as she goes home, or when another’s son prefers to sleep with granny that day because she scolded him for something naughty as soon as she went home and claims that she scolds him as soon as she goes home. Or I overheard 2 ladies – one was crying (yes in the office) that her son was unwell but she had a deliverable for which she had to come to office and the other one was consoling her saying that the father is at home along with the grand parents to take care of him – but I could understand that feeling of helplessness.

Yes, working moms are human too! We have our reasons for taking a decision like this. And we try and strike as good a balance as we can at work/at home or with our child.We put ourselves on the back burner – refusing to take a day off when we are sick so we can ‘save’ that leave when required, hardly get that required 8hours of sleep We slog our as*es off at work to ensure quality deliverable, go home and ensure that our child has proper dinner, make sure we keep in touch with family, grocery shop over weekends, keep a clean enough home, loose sleep just to have some companionship and conversation for that 1/2 hour with the man we love…

And yet! At the end of the day – we are never given 100/100 on anything… And sometimes that matters…

(We here are the working moms – and at least those that I interact with on a daily basis)

Office Rant rant rant…

OK, I’ve been quite dis-satisfied with what I’ve been doing for the last 3 months in this new project. Though I had made it pretty clear initially about what I wanted and where I wanted to go, the concerned people didnt bother about it and just put me where they most wanted somebody. I even made it clear that I have the experience of doing the next role because I’ve already done it and they just dismissed it…

And I’ve been doing the work that a 3yr experienced person would be doing – sometimes a 1yr exp would be doing. And I did that too thinking things will improve and change. But nope! Since I so quietly accepted all that they dumped on me they are no way close to giving me even the opportunity to move ahead. They want me to continue in this rut for as long as they can wring the max out of me. They want me to do the donkey’s work and give credit to someone else whose work Im doing. As long as I keep quiet and continue to do it – all’s well but where is that leading me? I’ve been proactive and tried to introduce something new which is not even considered because ‘onsite’ doesnt want it…

I’m confused – do I just keep quiet and keep doing this while being unhappy? Compromise because I have a day care here where I can be available for Chuktu? Because I have the physical comfort of travelling with hubby everyday (Now even that is not possible with his erratic long hours)? Continue to do the work and let others take the credit for it?  Or do I just quit and get another job elsewhere and then see how it will work out -Im scared to do that with the dependencies right now…

I realise that I’ve somehow brought upon myself the wrath of ‘onsite’ because I spoke up with issues that were causing problems. I didnt realise that the others here just keep their mouth shut and do as their ‘onsite’ asks them to – even to the extent of a*se licking which I abhor and find disgusting! I realise I take my disappointment at work – home and let it affect my weekends and evenings.

I had a discussion today with the ‘2 ups’ and let them know that despite having made my intentions clear Im not getting what I asked for and Im unhappy with it. I’ve been asked to think about it and get back in a couple of days and I told them that I’ve already thought about this and I dont want to continue to do what Im doing because I dont see any career growth for me in this…

Did I do wrong? Does that come across as unprofessional? Am I letting my heart make the decision – I’ve given this a lot of thought and Im still uncertain…

1005, ‘Kiran’

Is where I was born and spent the first 25 years of my life. And the place where my son was brought home too. My home. Somewhere in me, even today when people ask ‘Where do you stay”,I end up giving this address. I never actually realised that I ‘felt’ for this house so much. Until over the weekend something drastic happened and there was a fear of an entire side of the foundation collapsing! And I heard Dad get angry and saw mom worried that I realised there was a very unsettling feeling for me too… A very uneasy,unhappy feeling that I couldnt express.

Many many memories associated with that brick and mortar house…

My first memories of playing chauka baara with Thatha, sleeping in the last room between the grand parents with a book (Tales and Parables) in my hands.
The running away from Dad on weekends and locking myself in the room with Thatha while Dad got the room key and opened it and insisted that I sleep! (How I wish I could do that now – lock myself and sleep!)
Walking all the way to the bathroom at end of the house in the middle of the night, jumping walls to go to the neighbours’
Sitting on the front steps talking to my neighbour S for hours or going for long walks in the neighbourhood
Chatting with friends on the street in front of the gate for hours together – school friends, college friends, neighbours.
Walking on the terrace studying for the exams,playing in water on the terrace during some construction work.
Eating endless dosas on competition with brother sitting at the dining table while granny made them hot.
Sitting at the dining table and discussing the elocution/debate/essay and singing competitions while mom sat down cutting the veggies for the next day. And the numerous songs that mom/bro and me sang along with the radio/TV.
The endless amounts of mirth and laughter on finding out that Ajji had put tea powder instead of mustard seeds for the bhendi fry and how I had stuffed everything in my mouth at school because I was scared of her – though it tasted yuck!
Cycling and playing on the streets until dark.
Playing antakshari after dark during power cuts with the neighbours in their living room and us in ours!
The relatives who came to stay over at home for days together.
The first time I told about hubby to my parents and that evening of discussion with me sitting on the floor while the 3 elders sat on the sofa while Dad bombarded me with questions.
Hubby (then BF) visiting me and my pre wedding home renovations and wedding festivities.
Watching TV lazing on the sofa while mom vaccumed the whole house on a saturday afternoon.
Making the first sandwich, the first custurd, the first dosa – the first everything in cooking.
Painting the Rangoli in front of the house every summer vacation. All the arts/crafts that hang on those walls…
Planting in the garden with granny.
The numerous festivals – Ganesh/Gowri immersion in the well behind, finish bursting crackers early during diwali and then stand on the terrace to watch all the night items light the sky later.

Some sad ones..
Like the day Thatha passed away and I was sitting all alone near the gate without even switching on the lights because I was somehow scared to go inside.
The day before J Amma passed away and I fed her, her last piece of banana and how she said she wanted to go now and she was very happy that bro and me were well settled.

I think I can go on and on… I realise Im going to miss that house and all that it gave me…  

Random Weekend Updates

So much happened over the weekend that I HAD to put it up here…

Friday evening I f inally managed to go to the dentist and get that troublesome wisdom tooth removed. And I was so plesantly surprised that it was so smooth. Thank God! Everyone I had heard from had only horror stories to tell about the wisdom tooth removal and I was petrified. But it was pretty simple with a tug,tug,twist, twist and a HUGE pull – it came out! I was so relieved that I did a clap and did a victory dance sitting on that chair itself! Both hubby and the dentist himself were laughing! And the plus points were that I got to eat only icecream for dinner 😀 (I dont even remember when was the last I did this!) and I had my parents staying back with us overnight to make sure that Chutku was taken care of along with hubby. And the little monster refused to come to me even for a hug!

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Talking of Chutku – Just a couple of weeks back when we took him for the 18months vaccination, I was worried that he is not talking as much as he is supposed to – and what a turn around he has shown in these 2 weeks! Suddenly he begins to say ‘A,B,C,D’, Johnny johnny yes papa, he joins 2 words together. And He observes – he found a round peice of cardboard label and tried to insert it into the DVD player thinking its a CD. I had a bad cold a few days back and was walking around with a kerchief – so where ever he finds a kerchief he comes to me, scrunches his nose and wipes my nose 😀 I tell him not to run his jeep on the sofa – so he calls me ‘Ammmmaaaa’ and when I go – he looks at me and moves the jeep on the sofa to see what my reaction will be… And today morning in the car he started rubbing my palms to play (‘saarsi,goodsi’ – a play where I tickle him in the end) the way I do it for him and using those words and trying to tickle me in the end!!!

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It was a pleasure having parents at home over the weekend, we even managed to go out for dinner on saturday with my parents to a fave place -for anyone in Blore reading this – Inchara and had a relaxed time. We had both sets of parents at home over the weekend and we got an experience of how it will be if my parents come to live with us over the next couple of years. And it was so relaxed – both hubby and I were later discussing how nice it felt – the house full and conversation flowing… Looking forward to it now… What is it with having parents that makes one relax and let go – kind of a huge burden off your shoulders for a few hours – huh?

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Yesterday evening we just introduced the little fellow to his birds and animals book, marker pen and newspaper to scribble with and just spent the evening at home relaxing – we as a family that we hadnt got time for in a long time – and that just summed up the weekend for us with a peaceful dinner – we even made the little fellow sit on his high chair with us at the dining table and let him make a mess while we ate and fed him dinner…

It was a good weekend in all…. Wisdom  tooth – all thanks to you! 🙂