I cant believe its been a whole year since I first laid eyes on you! I remember my first thought was “He’s so tiny! How do I take care of him!”. And look where we are today! And guess what – from thinking no party to 2 birthday parties for you – little monster! One at the day care that we had yesterday and one for the family on saturday – you cannot now complain that we didnt give you a first birthday party!
Little one, You have brought us immense joy, a joy we couldnt have imagined in our wildest dreams! At every milestone, when you first began to listen to your ammamma sing, follow me with your eyes, begin to smile when we spoke to you,fall on your stomach,sit,crawl and now the latest is holding and walking and when you show off your shaky standing skills 🙂 I feel so proud and so happy. But at the same time there is also this feeling of sad – you are growing up so fast, baby! I feel Im missing out on so much! I try to spend as much time I can with you – still I dont want the day to end, I want to keep playing with you, making you laugh, teach you new things, there is soo much to do with you!
And there are days when you are cranky and whiny and maybe unwell that I just cant wait for the day to end. Especially when your Dad’s working late and its just the 2 of us at home, after a long day I just want to feed you dinner and see you fall asleep rolling around on the floor mattress. But I guess thats also a learning – a lesson in patience that I now realise I will need cartloads of, going forward!
When you know what makes us laugh, when you try and imitate us, when you do something we dont expect – there is a pride – we know you are growing, picking up things yourself without us teaching you, but still…
But, you know what I remember at night before I sleep? Moments – moment when you drop what-ever it is you are playing with and start crawling towards me with a scream of joy,as soon as you hear my voice calling “Chutku” in the day care…no matter who is carrying you, what you are doing – you look up searching for me, find me and smile – that special smile that everyone seem to have noticed that you reserve just for me…when you wake up in the morning and stretch yourself and then search for either one of us and smile, when you hold my shoulder from behind and play peek-a-boo with me when Im busy folding your clothes – these moments are what I realise Im living for, the reason for wanting to have you, my baby, moments that I know I will keep in memory long after you’ve grown up. I can go on and on but I guess this is enough for now – we have the rest of our lives baby!
You have made me a mushy mom, my love – and today I have so many wishes for you that I’ve been praying long and hard all day long! Everything wish seems inadequate somehow, I fear I’ve missed praying for something important – every wish seems less and small for you.
My little one – I will only pray that you have a long, healthy life and be blessed with love,happiness and respect.
PS: I know Im a day late but what with organising 2 birthday parties for you apart from attending to office work and home, I guess that’s acceptable – just so you know how hectic life is right now, when you read this years from now…