I am wondering where to start this post from. Sam thinks he is now grown up to make his own decisions. He has been having play-dates with his friend (both going to grade 2 now) within the community almost 3 days every week and both kids are very comfortable in either home. But, they both need their mommies at night. Last week, suddenly this friend of Sam’s decided he wants to have a sleepover. The mommy said she is fine with it because she wants the kid to try it out. Thinking that it is going to be here in our home, I agreed too. Come Monday, the friend chickened. Sam, who had gone to their house for a playdate decided he wants to stay over for the sleepover that night. I asked him to come home for sometime, change into his pajamas and take his toothbrush for the next morning. I also had to ask the daddy’s permission, guess what?! daddy, who is in Chicago, said ‘NO’! There began a huge tantrum “I want to do, what I want to do”, ” I have promised him that I will come and I will become bad if I don’t go” etc etc; Since I was comfortable with the family and knew he would be safe I thought it would be a good idea to try. Also, I wanted to show Sam that we trust him to take some decisions on his own now and this would be a good time, I thought. Also, I secretly hoped that he will come back in the night 😛
A few calls later, I managed to convince daddy that we should try. By then, the little monster who Mom had taken out walking (my parents are here, remember?) came back. When I told him that he can go, a whole new can of worries cropped up in the little head. Now, he panicked. He didn’t want to go. What if he got nightmares? What if he wanted to huggie-sleep? Can I also go with him for the sleep-over? Call and tell aunty that I don’t want to go…He got so worked up about it that he began to cry again! By then it was 8pm and I wanted to calm him. I told him to think about it while I fed him dinner – yes, I fed him dinner because he was so worked up and worried that I knew he wouldn’t eat – so much, that he said his tummy ached! It was in knots! I finally got him to calm down and began to feed him dinner and think about it, that I will call and cancel if he did not want to go even after dinner. Before dinner could end, they all came home to pick him up. Aunty, uncle and the friend! So, someone forgot all worries and got into the car happily. They all watched a movie until 12am and then apparently the worries began again. He made sure aunty slept next to him, held her hand, told her to not switch off the light and spoke to her until 1am before finally falling asleep.
Here I was, frantically messaging mommies asking if it was the right age to send him for a sleepover, sulking that he did not tell me good night and missing him all night and checking my phone every hour or 2 for messages or calls that might say they will drop him back home because he isn’t able to sleep 😦 A sleepless night for me and a fun sleepover for him. He did not even want her to call me! Maybe because he was worried it will weaken him?
Time now, I realize that I begin to accept that I will have to start letting go! He is ready, am I?