Its now been a month since the hubby has left for the far shores and I have been quite comfortably managing myself and Chutku. The stress of his travels and work was pretty high and I have to admit there were a lot of arguements in the process. The Rajasthan trip was a good break with company that ensured that we didnt have the time for any arguments!
But there are times when suddenly, I miss him – Just a fleeting thought before I get back to doing whatever it is that Im doing. Even though I dont want to admit it to myself or him that this happens! After reading LFs hugs challenge -I thought how sweet is that! I really appreciate the couples who make time out to nurture and cherish their relationship. Yes, we are all professionals, parents, children, friends and have a million other things to do, and in the due course, promptly ignore, take for granted the one person who we trust and expect to be there shoulder to shoulder in everything! Or rather dont realise when they are around? I thought WTH, if not now, then when else – he is anyway not here and if he reads it too, I hope he would also have a happy moment and a happy day 🙂
The day my friends and I took a short break and went shopping – though I liked a couple of things, I just couldnt buy anything – I thought, wish he were here, he would’ve told me if its worth spending the 3K on those boots. Or even told me to indulge and I would’ve been guilt free spending so much…
The day I took Chutku alone to the indoor play gym near the house-Wish here were here. We couldve comfortably let the little fellow play and we could’ve had a cup of good coffee in peace like the other couples here – I had told him, when he was here about it, but sadly we never got that chance..
Chutku’s birthday, well, nothing more to say there…Who else could be more important?
The day I went to the supermarket and was looking for the right veggies-when he would say”You pick up the greens and I will choose the tomatoes and onions” knowing I dont like doing that choosing.
“Do you want …. or should we pick up that particular juice?” “you never buy that pumpkin or sweet potato” . “Lets try this for Chutku”…”Lets start green tea from tomorrow”…I missed all these….
I know I’ve cribbed enough about us working in the same office and same floor, but I now miss looking up and seeing his head from across all those cubicles and just knowing that he is there…I dont like to see some other nearly bald head sitting there anymore 😦
Someone to take Chutku to midnight bathroom breaks, or silently giggle at his midnight speeches.
Someone to just look at and roll eyes when we are out in not very good company and laugh about it later. Not having him around in any gatherings adding his own version of really silly PJs. Not having him for festivities – I didnt even celebrate Pongal because it just
felt so boring…
The 2hr bus journey home, wish we could go home together!
And on the other side, when he tells me that he bought a crockery set and hopes I like them, he thought about what those pans would be useful for-thinking about me cooking, how he went to the Indian store and wished I were there so I would know what to pick up, or how he went to CostCo and thought if I were there I would have asked a million questions before buying the stuff…Or just that he suddenly messages “Come here soon, very lonely and boring”… I know he is missing me in those fleeting moments too and it makes me happy…
But but, he calls and we argue – about so many things, trivial things, vital things or
sometimes dont even spend a couple of minutes talking to each other before the bus horn cuts the signal (yes!) or Chutku wants to speak or he gets some other call, or he is rushing off to work…
I think this is enough for 10 years worth of marriage – Isnt it? Its not like we cant live without each other, but we would rather be together just out of habit and feel a little lost without the other? Such fleeing moments are when all other hurts and differences are forgotten and a smile spreads knowing that we still mean something for one another…
So LF I might just take up your challenge – might persuade hubby too…But I would like to start from the month of June when I hope we will be together again and is also the month of our 10th anniversary 😀