The Lure of “Foreign Lands”

Way back in 2007, when we travelled on my work, there was a lot of excitement on the travel and some expectations of how we wanted things to shape up. This time around, the husband has already travelled and I expect I will be joining him in summer once the cold winds blow off

When I tell family that Im waiting for Chutku to finish his school year and the summer to set in, so I can take a proper Transfer Certificate for him, which might help once we come back, everyone sits up and takes notice of only the fact of “Come back”. Some are cynical, some
laugh out loud saying “Oh!we have seen so many people saying that they will come back but no one has…” , some just say-“we hope you come back”. Some ask us “Do you really want to come back”?

Everyone we spoke to about the travel has told us, “You will have another child there and settle down there!” – Eh? Really? Maybe? Or more categorically “go have another kid there!”Including my Doctor!! Your son needs the company – 6yrs difference will not make for any company, we say,only added responsibility for us! This whole having another child thing, has just put me off!Nobody, just nobody, has any right to take any such decisions for us. It makes me not want to go atall! So, I feel that its decided, we have another child there-“OH! See, we knew you would have another one there-now that child has become an american citizen” Or, we choose not to have another child there “OH! You should have another child there,you could also apply for citizenship” no matter what-there will be judgements passed.

We ourselves arent sure what we are expecting this time-we stay/not stay, I work or I dont work – everything depends on how the little fellow adjusts and accepts the change. The focus is all on him. Are we worrying too much? Maybe, because from past experience, Chutku doesnt take to change very easily. He still talks about the old house and how he played cycle in the basement. This time, the changes are huge, and he is grown older too. If the same thing had happened a couple of years ago, when he didnt remember or have to go to school, we think the transition would have been easier for him.

How will he adjust to the environment around him. Of not having the grandparents and cousins to play with, of a different language, a different set of people to get adjusted to, a schooling system which is also very different from here. Most of all we wonder whats going to happen to the very noisy, tantrummy, happy to scream boy there! How are we going to control all that and channel all that energy – especially during winter months.Today, he knows that he has a backup in the form of Ammamma-Thatha if we scold him, would he feel left out there? Feel he has no one, if we scold him? Would that affect him? Here we co-sleep, there though I’ve already told hubby that we need to furnish his room and make it inviting for him from Day-1, will he be able to sleep alone? How would he react in school – would he notice the difference of skin color and would that affect him?

This whole move comes with a lot of upheaval for all of us.Sometimes, despite having plan A and Plan B, life takes its own course, and we just need to flow along the currents and see where it takes us.



7 thoughts on “The Lure of “Foreign Lands”

  1. Hugs! Just take a day at a time. Tell people who say such things to go take a hike! And don’t worry too much about Chutku, he will be fine. With both of you around, he is bound to be happy. Hugs!

  2. I am sure the little one will be just fine.. he will make new friends in school and all ..
    as you said go with the flow do the best you can and rest will take care of itself

  3. Hugs, RS! I can totally get what you are saying about Chutku adapting to the changes ‘cos we are almost in the same boat. Sigh.
    And just turn a deaf ear to the people who talk stuff. That’s the best we can do!

  4. People think that they are doing you a favour by giving uncalled-for advice. Ignore ignore ignore. Do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about what anyone says. Regarding Chutku, I’m sure things will fall into place. Like SS said and what we experienced, we worry unnecessarily for kids while they adapt to situations easier than we imagine.

  5. Hugs dear! don’t worry about Chutku, kids adjusts to new environment quickly,there will be definitely be some transition period, give him that time and you will be surprised. And people talking about and giving gyan please ignore them. I get too many advice on having second child, now that hubby is moved in with us it gets more and more.

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