Over the weekend, while we drove to Cochin, we (husband and I) felt the journey was extra long. We really didnt know how to pass time for 14 hrs! By the end of it we were frustrated with the journey.
By the time we reached Cochin, we had exhausted our conversation and it was then we realised, that we were both missing the little monster. We were missing his excitement at seeing an Audi car or an Ambassador car, missing his questions, missing is wonder on everything around us and missing his nonstop chatter. We felt guilty for not taking him along. We kept calling the parents to ask how he was and what he was doing until my Dad scolded me to not disturb him as he was well adjusted to the fact that we would not be returning that evening and was playing.
On sensing that I was almost close to tears, the hubby asked me if we should have taken him along. We had actually taken this decision with a lot of thought – the nearly 20hrs of journey (which ended up as 14hrs) cooped in the car would have made him cranky and tired, he would neither have eaten nor slept, we started at 5:45 in the morning, so his sleep would’ve reduced and ofcourse the options of food would also be limited with all that travel. Despite all this and the fact that he would be well cared for and entertained by both sets of granparents still made us feel like we had ditched him 😦 Ditched him to be taken care of by the grandparents, ditched him over a weekend when that would be the only 2 days he spent maximum time with us.
Did we do wrong? No, I dont think so, but the guilt feeling doesnt go away. We had to take a practical decision to leave him behind considering that 20+ hrs of travel over a weekend and then school next day would tire him out and might make him fall ill. There are so many such decisions we are being forced to take these days that we feel bad/guilty about – like he has a school trip next week to some resort and they have asked our permission to let him get into the kiddy pool. Now, Im not even sure if I should let him go on that trip 😦 Im afraid that he will run wild in his excitement and there will be so many kids around for the teachers to manage too. I really dont trust that excited kid to listen to the teacher and stick to her 😦 What am I supposed to do? I know he will have a great deal of fun, but should I really risk sending him? Im so confused… Would I be that ‘Tiger mom’ if I dont send him? I find this tough parenting very tough…