The Mommy Guilt story again

Because he falls sick-again and again and again 😦 Im just so tired. Come November, it all peaks-his cold, cough, phlegm, fever, some or the other pain-sometimes ear sometimes throat, throwing up, not eating – the whole works.

And then visits to the doctor. And all the doctor says is its virus, one or the other and it will take its own time to go-5-7 days – in his case its always 7 😦 Mentally pull-up, get through with it and by the time we sigh with relief, it all begins again. Some times a course of anitbiotics (which I hate giving) is also required. So in al, from Nov to Feb- every year he falls sick – promptly. And more or less will be on medication 2-3 weeks out of 4.

And I feel guilty. Despite the doctor reassuring that its fine for him to be left in the daycare and it doesnt matter-if he is prone to it – he will catch the virus irrespective of keeping him at home or taking him out – the worry returns that he gets it from the other kids in the daycare. And I dont have any other choice either.

There have already been 1 course of Anitbiotics in November and another cold,cough,fever routine just before New Year’s and I thought he was feeling better though he continues to have a runny nose. Last night though, he woke up at 2am coughing and running a temperature and refused to take the medicine. The crocin syrup was just pushed aside and in that 0 watt bulb light I couldnt even make out if some of it (2-3ml) had gone in or not. So didnt force it again. He just wanted to ‘Huggie-sleep’ but was restless- kept rolling around between me and his Dad until 5am when it was time for me to wake up. So we let him sleep until 7 and he woke up quite alright-all ready to go to ‘office’. Though he wanted to come to daycare, though I had decided that I would take off if his temperature was high, I continue to feel guilty. Guilty because we got him here and guilty because in my head I had cribbed that I would have to postpone today’s meetings that I have scheduled which would’nt have been a very good thing to do professionally. So, the guilt remains.

Im hoping he gets better by the end of the day (though i know it will take another 4-5 days for that) and the rest of the week passes by well. And where can I run away to avoid this ‘virus’ that seems to be present all year through?

When will this guilt go? When he stops falling ill? when he grows up? Or will there be something new to torment then?

For all my blog-a-thon friends – Im sorry! Im sleep deprived (been up since 2am) and not able to think of anything else to write other than vent it here-Ha! What an idea for a blog-a-thon post 😦

PS: Im totally fine. Just that all the morning stress had to come out -and here it is 🙂


15 thoughts on “The Mommy Guilt story again

  1. Big hugs darling…

    I went through the same same routine when R was 1.25 years with RD travelling extensively…I switched over to a homeopathy doctor who is really really good and touch wood she is much better…her asthama attacks have reduced drastically and her immunity levels have gone up really well

    May be you can try switching to homeopathy…the only thing is have belief and dont give up m id way..its a slow process but most effective for kids…and get a good doctor

    If you are not getting a good one in your area, come to Bombay for a weekend. I will take you to R’s doctor, he can examine Chutku and then he will even send medicines by courier which is what he is doing for my mother in law…I am dead serious on this one..think about it

    1. OMG! Thank you sooo much RM 🙂 I know about homeopathy-have taken it myself. But there have been bad experiences in the family and the hubby is very serious about ‘No Homeo’ and thats the only thing where he even puts his foot down letting me handle most of the other stuff-so with him so strong on that-I am not trying homeo.

      Thnks a lot lot lot! Just your offer mkes me feel better:-)

    1. ThanksSnS! Im sure its another virus and will take another 4-5days – so he will be fine! I wonder how you are managing though.
      Am going to try some immunity inducing doctor prescribed syrup once this 4-5days are done. And lets see where that takes us…

  2. Oh my dear, with Chucky I went through similar, 2011 I took her to doctor 13times in 5-6months duration and she got antibiotic at least 4 times. I even thought of stocking antibiotic at home. Chutku will be fine, give him another year to get used to this world.

    I started giving honey, pepper to Chucky , there seems to be a lot of difference after that. I know how you must be feeling with night outs and on top mommy guilt will on peak when they falls sick.

    Hugs to you if that makes you feel better.

  3. Take a deep breath. Children catch the virus easily whether they are in day care or not. They catch it from school, they cath it from elders, they catch it from the playground… you can’t stop it …

    The guilt only makes the condition bad… so chuck it out… Chutku will be fine in no time 🙂

    1. Jas, thank you! thank you! And yes, I know it all… but at 5.30am when you are thinking if you should chuck office and stay home and then think “Sh*t I have that so-and-so meeting today, why did he have to fall ill now” – that is when the mommy guilt surfaces…

      1. And that is when you have collect yourself together and say to yourself,” I have it under control. I am mommy and a working woman too” easier said than done but you need to try 🙂

  4. The little one will be FINE, its just one of those things as they say, and yes do send to day care as even if Chutku catches a virus it will only make the little one stronger as the immune system builds up..

    Why the guilt I dont understand that its not ur fault , its just natural some kids build their immune system faster some take longer thats about it ..

    he will soon be running around and jumping as if nothing has happened .. so chillax

    Take care 🙂

  5. Dear, I can understand your situation but you are equally helpless too so stop feeling guilt about it and hugs to chutku.. So just relax and spend some time with him. he soon will be back with his usual self… and haan btw if he grows up soon then dont complain saying why did you grow up so soon… 😀

  6. Hey, Benji is the same… I think some kids just are weaker that way. Benji almost always has a runny nose. He’s only just two and the doctor’s prescribed antibiotics quite a few times. I’m conflicted about it because my sister’s ped in the US is so against antibiotics. Benji doesn’t go to daycare but he’s still like this. Though I did notice that his colds were more frequent when he started going down to the common playroom, but I’m not going to stop him from going to play. So even if Chutku didn’t go to daycare, at 2 onwards, he’d still be going out and interacting with other kids and because he has a weaker constitution, will fall sick. Mimi is much stronger than Benji and falls sick less but now that she’s here, basically they pass it to each other, gah!

    Also, about sending him to daycare when he’s sick, I’ve noticed that Benji even when he’s sick wants to run around. He won’t just sleep in bed like an adult. So if the daycare is willing to have him and he wants to go, why not. I’m sure he can nap when he’s tired there. The only danger would be passing the virus to other kids.

    Two things that helped with Benji – giving him seven seas with multivitamin. That way we;re ensuring that he’s not falling sick due to any vitamin deficiency plus the fish oil is supposed to be good for brain development. Honestly, I started it more because I was looking for a solution to the constant cold.

    Though, as you noticed, during winter, he still gets a cold which can get into cough and fever. Winter, at least in Hong Kong and the US, is considered flu season and the government here recommends and subsidized flu vaccine for kids and the elderly. So you could look into that for Chutku. My sister’s ped in the US who is very conservative about medication also recommends it. After I had a crazy bout of flu this winter, I gave the shot to Mimi and Benji. It doesn’t cover every flu virus and even in those that it does cover, they might still get the flu but the severity will be lower. If Chutku is prone to the flu virus, this might help lessening the severity.

  7. momofrs

    I hope little Chutku is better now.
    By the way, I would just say, don’t panic when a kid gets ill. Believe me, each time a child falls ill, S/he becomes immune to that particular virus. In a way, immunity builds up as antigens are created.This is perfectly normal.
    Also, give medication ONLY if fever persists for 24hrs. A simply cold water compress/sponging is enough to take care of the fever otherwise.
    Things like Chayavanprash and Cod-liver oil capsules help, but I’m afraid they cannot be consumed by children who are younger than 5 years.
    Most important, don’t blame yourself. All little kids fall ill. And then they get up and drive us crazy 🙂 . So just take it as it comes.
    Take care 🙂

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