Because he falls sick-again and again and again 😦 Im just so tired. Come November, it all peaks-his cold, cough, phlegm, fever, some or the other pain-sometimes ear sometimes throat, throwing up, not eating – the whole works.
And then visits to the doctor. And all the doctor says is its virus, one or the other and it will take its own time to go-5-7 days – in his case its always 7 😦 Mentally pull-up, get through with it and by the time we sigh with relief, it all begins again. Some times a course of anitbiotics (which I hate giving) is also required. So in al, from Nov to Feb- every year he falls sick – promptly. And more or less will be on medication 2-3 weeks out of 4.
And I feel guilty. Despite the doctor reassuring that its fine for him to be left in the daycare and it doesnt matter-if he is prone to it – he will catch the virus irrespective of keeping him at home or taking him out – the worry returns that he gets it from the other kids in the daycare. And I dont have any other choice either.
There have already been 1 course of Anitbiotics in November and another cold,cough,fever routine just before New Year’s and I thought he was feeling better though he continues to have a runny nose. Last night though, he woke up at 2am coughing and running a temperature and refused to take the medicine. The crocin syrup was just pushed aside and in that 0 watt bulb light I couldnt even make out if some of it (2-3ml) had gone in or not. So didnt force it again. He just wanted to ‘Huggie-sleep’ but was restless- kept rolling around between me and his Dad until 5am when it was time for me to wake up. So we let him sleep until 7 and he woke up quite alright-all ready to go to ‘office’. Though he wanted to come to daycare, though I had decided that I would take off if his temperature was high, I continue to feel guilty. Guilty because we got him here and guilty because in my head I had cribbed that I would have to postpone today’s meetings that I have scheduled which would’nt have been a very good thing to do professionally. So, the guilt remains.
Im hoping he gets better by the end of the day (though i know it will take another 4-5 days for that) and the rest of the week passes by well. And where can I run away to avoid this ‘virus’ that seems to be present all year through?
When will this guilt go? When he stops falling ill? when he grows up? Or will there be something new to torment then?
For all my blog-a-thon friends – Im sorry! Im sleep deprived (been up since 2am) and not able to think of anything else to write other than vent it here-Ha! What an idea for a blog-a-thon post 😦
PS: Im totally fine. Just that all the morning stress had to come out -and here it is 🙂