I met a college friend in the bank over the weekend and last weekend met a friend who hadnt seen me for over 3 years and they both said the same thing: “You havent changed a bit!” “What do you mean” I asked – “Oh! You know, your face hasnt changed/matured (now I dont know what that means!!) you haven’t put on weight, you still have the same way of talking” (Excuse me?) blah blah…
And at work too people are surprised that I am married – and married for 3 years. And the first thing that people see when I say I’m married are my forehead for Sindoor and my feet for the toe rings – neither of which I wear and then back at my face with a big Question mark on their faces…which means everytime I need to give an explanation – Sindoor is not in our tradition/its optional and toe rings hurt my feet.Then they ask – then how do people know you are married? One of them even went to the extent of asking – what if someone falls for you thinking you arent married – I think you should atleast wear toe-ring!! Huh! What? I really had no answer to that!! (*in my mind – grinnnn, so I still look that young/good for someone to fall for me!!cool!* )
And then another common question – dont your in-laws/parents mind you wearing trousers/jeans/skirts – becoz generally married women dont wear them?! No, Thankfully my in-laws are very broad-minded. They really dont mind my wearing whatever clothes I want.
Here is the last one – I havent changed my last name after marriage – simply becoz its no big deal for either me or for my hubby. We’ve never given it a thought. But thats another thing people dont understand. We had to get a legal document in both our names and the lawyer conveniently changed hubby’s last name to my last name!! It was so funny! He didnt change my last name to hubby’s but he did the opposite! hehehe. We had to take it back to him and explain that I have retained my maiden name and that his last name is different. He gave a sheepish smile and changed it for us *uufff*
Why is it that even today people have such pre concieved notions that a married woman should look like this/wear all the extra fittings (Yeah I do call them that coz I dont need them to remind me that I’m married!!) I only wear my mangal sutra becoz thats the only thing I believe in and like wearing. Also – it doesnt show on any of my western clothes too. And can somebody show me if there is any rule in the constitution that married women in India should NOT wear trousers/skirts/jeans? That too in today’s day and age!And changing my name is something I will not do. Just becoz people recognise me by this name and this is my identity. Everyone who is anyone to us know we are husband and wife and I dont need to prove that I am married to him just by changing my name to his!
Which Neanderthal age ARE people in? Im not irritated- just majorly surprised!!!